Has anyone been through court dealing with grandparents’ visitation?
My partner’s dad is trying to get court-ordered visitation for my two kids (ages 5 and 3 when we had the first hearing). My oldest isn’t even related to him as they’re from a previous relationship. We cut off contact with him earlier this year because his behavior was just too much. He’s been emotionally abusive, and we’re genuinely concerned for our kids’ safety.
Here’s what we’ve had to deal with:
He’s been emotionally abusive toward us (he treated my partner this way growing up)
Verbally abusive toward us adults
Unhealthy obsession with my kids, and even keeps pushing for changes to their legal documents
Tries to guilt-trip and force affection on the kids even though they don’t like being around him
Showed up unannounced at our home, and one time when we refused, our car was vandalized
Shows signs of being narcissistic and has crossed boundaries in a concerning way
He threatened us a couple of times with going to court, and now he actually has. I’m really worried he’ll push for access to our future child, too, as I’m pregnant. My kids don’t know or remember him, and they never ask to see him.
Does anyone know how likely it is for him to be given any legal rights to visitation? We’re just scared he’ll get some form of access despite his issues.
Amos said:
I’m not familiar with UK laws, but I’d imagine he wouldn’t have any rights to the older child since they’re not related.
That’s what we’re thinking too, but apparently he can still try if he can prove a significant bond with the child. It feels like the system is giving him so much leeway just because he’s a grandparent.
Here in the US, grandparents need to have acted as a parent for a while to get visitation rights. It’s often when one parent is keeping the grandparents away. In your case, it doesn’t seem like his involvement would help your kids. Maybe look up “grandparent visitation UK” to get a sense of what you might be up against.
Where I live, grandparents can’t start their own case; it has to tie into something like a divorce. The idea is that grandparent visitation is for situations where a parent is blocking access. I’d argue that if both parents are on the same page, it’s best for the kids to be kept out of this.
@Oran
That makes so much sense. I wish it worked like that here, but unfortunately, grandparents can start the process themselves if they feel “cut off.” Courts here usually give them the chance to argue for visitation.
Could you clarify which country you’re in? The rules vary, and sometimes it depends on the arguments he’s making. Some places require a prior close relationship or safety issues before a court will even consider it.
@Blair
Oh, sorry, I’m in the UK. He’s asking for visitation, even holidays, and a name change since we stopped contact with him. He’s saying it’s essential for them to know his heritage. He’s even claimed we’re mentally harming the kids by keeping them away from him, just because we’ve had a history of depression. It’s frustrating and doesn’t make sense!
@Ainsley
Got it. Has he already filed then? Do you have legal help, or are you planning to handle this yourselves? It might help to check out some legal advice forums specific to the UK as well.
Blair said: @Ainsley
Got it. Has he already filed then? Do you have legal help, or are you planning to handle this yourselves? It might help to check out some legal advice forums specific to the UK as well.
Yes, he’s already filed, and we have a court date. We’re working with two lawyers right now to see if we should represent ourselves or hire someone, but if we hire a lawyer, we have to pay for his legal fees too! It’s crazy that we’d have to pay when he’s the one dragging us into court.
@Ainsley
Wow, didn’t know that in the UK the non-represented party’s fees could fall on the other side. That’s tough. Might be worth it to keep things as straightforward as possible.