Can an employer decide where employees sleep?

My girlfriend lives in New York and works for a family as an au pair. This means she lives with the family she works for and takes care of their baby from 0900-1700. In the contract she wrote up with the family, they stated that she must be home before 2330 on weekdays, which I understand as a valid condition considering her employers are her landlords as well.

I flew to New York from Europe last week to visit her and rented a hotel room for two weeks just ten minutes from where she works. However, her employers stated that they do not want her sleeping away from home and that she may only sleep in their home. I understand that her job is different from others, but I understood the condition that she must be home at 2330 to apply only when she is actually living at their home. Considering she is 22 years old, it feels strange that a pair that aren’t her parents are deciding where she sleeps and at what time. My question is: can an employer really decide this?

Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language.

You should ask in r/aupairs. Curfews are pretty standard for au pair contracts, but there should be exceptions.

Bly said:
You should ask in r/aupairs. Curfews are pretty standard for au pair contracts, but there should be exceptions.

This. Calling au pairs ‘employees’ isn’t accurate. Their agency and host family have negotiated a contract on her behalf, and those contracts often include things like ‘adherence to family rules,’ etc.

This isn’t about where she sleeps, it’s about what hours she’s working. If she’s agreed to provide care to the kids at night, then her employer can reasonably ask her to be present to do so. The flip side of that is she may be entitled to pay for the time she is required to be available, and that time may also count against any applicable limits on hours of work, towards any overtime pay she is owed, and so on.

If your partner is participating in an au pair program, she should talk to the program’s staff about her client’s demands. If she’s operating independently, there are enough rules (at both the state and federal levels) around au pair work that it’s prudent for her to set up a working relationship with a lawyer who can advise her.

@Zia
The only way to secure the J-1 visa to be an au pair in the USA is to work through an agency, so I’m hoping this is the case.

@Zia
Her defined working hours are 0900-1700 and she has never been asked to work outside of these hours. This is also the standard hours with the au pair program she works with. However, the employers added on to the standard contract that she must follow the curfew of being home before 2330 every night. We had assumed this only applies to when she is living with them, but they state that ‘she may only sleep in their home during working days.’

However, I do appreciate the advice you’ve given and will definitely talk about the points you raised with her tonight.

@Dru
It’s a rather unreasonable request, IMO, but if they are rich and socially conservative, they may be inclined to make such demands. Hopefully, she has an agency or someone that can step in to affirm proper boundaries. If they insist, it’s definitely time to look for a better family to work with. It will only get worse if she gives in.

What days are ‘working days’? Does she work only Monday through Friday, or the weekends also?

Can she request any vacation days? Since you are here visiting, it would be nice if she could spend more time with you.

She should have a local coordinator for the au pair agency. She should discuss with this person before pursuing legal action. It might be possible to get the outcome she wants without entering a legal dispute. A lawsuit against her host family might be the end of the program for her, even if she wins. Most host families would likely end the arrangement rather than have someone who’s suing them watch their kids every day.