Trigger warning for mentions of abuse. My sister has been going through years of emotional, mental, and financial abuse, and lately, he’s been pressuring her in ways she can’t handle anymore. He’s even hurt her in the past. She took the kids with her to stay at an Airbnb tonight where he can’t find them. Could she get in any trouble if he calls the cops on her?
If she’s their mom and there’s no legal plan in place for custody, she’s within her rights to take the kids. She needs to reach out to a domestic violence shelter for guidance and file a police report for her safety. Help her gather all the proof she has, and make sure she knows to get a lawyer as soon as possible.
If she doesn’t make a report herself, a judge might have a hard time believing her story.
Bailey said:
If she doesn’t make a report herself, a judge might have a hard time believing her story.
She’s scared the cops won’t do anything since he hasn’t physically hurt her in a while. He’s even a pastor, and we have recordings of him admitting to things in his sermons. She’s also been recording him yelling at her. We’ve been trying to collect enough proof so she can take the kids and leave.
@Reilly
When I left, I got a protective order after my ex pushed me around a few months before, but it wasn’t easy. He even threatened to kill me, but it took multiple incidents before they took him in. It’s never simple in these cases.
@Reilly
It makes sense why she’s hesitant to go to the police, but she should still try. Sometimes they don’t take things seriously right away, but I went months later to report my assault, and luckily they helped. Fingers crossed she gets the same support.
Who’s going to give her trouble? Why is it that SHE would be in trouble, not HIM? People think about ‘getting in trouble’ the wrong way in these situations. When it’s DV, things can get bad fast. Her main worry should be about staying safe. Tell her to call a DV hotline or find a shelter for help.
@Mika
They both have records, and he’s been saying he’ll call the cops if she leaves. He’s manipulative and keeps threatening her to make her stay. I’ve been helping her research DV resources for a while, but she’s still unsure about calling herself a victim because most of his abuse has been mental.
@Reilly
He can call the cops all he wants, but they’re unlikely to do anything. She has just as much right to be with the kids as he does. Unless there’s an existing custody order, she’s allowed to take them. But keep in mind, he could do the same thing to her, and the cops might not help either. If she leaves, she should plan to stay gone to avoid him taking them back.
If she feels unsafe, she should look into getting a protective order.
Finnley said:
If she feels unsafe, she should look into getting a protective order.
Thanks, I’ll let her know to do that.
She should schedule an appointment with a DV advocate as soon as she can.
No question about it, she needs to go to the police. Go directly to the family court and file for a temporary restraining order. And if there was an assault, she might want to get checked at the ER for documentation.
If he assaulted her, that’s rape, even if they’re married. She needs to report it and get away from him. She also has to think about the emotional impact on the kids. Wishing her strength and support.
Are they married? Which state are they in?
She definitely needs to call the police.
If she doesn’t act fast, she could risk a bad custody situation. This needs to be documented with the police, and she should contact a DV organization for help. If the courts are closed, she should file first thing the next business day for a protective order and custody. She doesn’t need a lawyer for that. If he files first, he could get custody. Acting now is critical.
@Kai
She can go directly to the police station to start the process if she’s in the US. A magistrate can handle emergency protective orders anytime.
No, she’s fine.
She should also call 911 and make it clear to keep her location hidden from him.