Mom and dad should have established a custody order a long time ago. The new partner will not have any legal say over what occurs with the child, and neither will you. This new guy is just trying to appear intimidating. He can talk tough, but he won’t help the mom with any formal arrangement.
@Ozzy
He may not have legal authority, but he might choose to pay whatever is needed in lawyer fees.
Storm said:
@Ozzy
He may not have legal authority, but he might choose to pay whatever is needed in lawyer fees.
Not necessarily. If he brought up financial aspects first, it suggests he’s fixated on that. He likely thinks they should be paying more and is using custody threats to pressure you.
I’m not a lawyer, but I would recommend following everyone’s advice here. Additionally, doing a background check on the new partner is wise to ensure there’s no abusive history. His aggressive behavior could indicate he knows he has no case and is trying to intimidate you into inaction. Make sure to get all communication in writing. Before she picks the child up tomorrow, have the biological father send an email/text to her regarding the conversation he had with her partner and keep records of her reply. You may want to consider not releasing the child to her.
@TomHenry
We originally contacted her right after he called, thinking that with his crazy behavior, she would definitely not be with him. We called to tell her this isn’t the way to handle things and it’s unacceptable. We didn’t think to record. Now the guy is there and is yelling in the background. Pickup is an hour away, and I will be recording anything that happens.
@Finnley
It might be best to do the pickup in front of police to clarify that you are to take him back on XX date. It sounds like once they have him, getting him back could be an issue.
Make sure to gather proof for all payments made to document that they have been made. Cease any payments until the court decides on the appropriate amount to be paid.
No court orders? Has support already been ordered?
1 - Avoid taking legal advice from the opposing party.
2 - Refer to point 1.
3 - Get a lawyer and file for a 50/50 custody arrangement.
4 - Refer to points 1 and 3 and act swiftly.
@Ellery
There was never any support ordered. We’ve only helped pay daycare, sending $550 each month. We’re headed to the courthouse tomorrow to file for 50/50 custody. Is there anything else you recommend?
@Finnley
Ensure the child cannot be relocated out of state until a custody agreement is determined by the court. If I were you, I’d get a lawyer urgently.
Lennox said:
@Finnley
Ensure the child cannot be relocated out of state until a custody agreement is determined by the court. If I were you, I’d get a lawyer urgently.
Trying to see if we can get a loan for legal fees since they’re quite high.
@Finnley
Be there for him. Things might get tough.
Gather any documents proving you’ve been covering payments consistently.
Collect any documentation related to your custody order.
Consider finding a therapist for the child; given the situation, it’s likely needed.
Maintain all communication via text only moving forward; it’s a great way to gather evidence against the other side.
@Finnley
You will not be involved in any custody arrangements. The new partner also won’t have legal power here. This matter strictly involves the biological parents—the father and mother. Why hasn’t there been a custody order up until this point?
@Jay
We’re fully aware that we’re third parties and have no stake, but I’m just looking for guidance on how to proceed. We’ve never had a custody order since co-parenting was going well until these recent developments. This call was made yesterday, and the mom is coming to pick up the child today at 4 PM.
@Finnley
They could definitely try to pursue full custody. However, unless there are significant shortcomings like serious criminal records, substance abuse, or severe mental health issues, they likely won’t have a strong case if the father actively wants to remain involved in the child’s life.
If nothing formal has been established by a court, you will need to be the ones to initiate proceedings. It’s vital to consult legal counsel and file a custody motion. It might be costly, with fees between $2,000 to $20,000, but if this man is serious about getting custody, he will likely fight every step of the way. While it’s unfortunate, that’s the legal reality you’re facing.
If possible, it’s more cost-effective to maintain cordial relationships with them so that you avoid emergency motions or petitions regarding your current custody status.
@Vince
The boyfriend or new partner has no authority to file any actions. They have no standing. The mother could, but why haven’t they sought a custody order already if they are serious? Is it possible that child support would significantly impact their finances? The mother cannot initiate anything; the father must take action.
@Jay
This may be the father’s first experience dealing with such matters, and he might not have given it much thought in the past. My lawyer’s best advice was to take action now before problems arise rather than waiting for issues to emerge.
@Vince
They have never been married. They simply never pursued custody because co-parenting was effective until this new dynamic emerged. The child is only three years old. Our main concern is the child’s well-being and ensuring he has equal time with both parents.
@Finnley
I suspect that she doesn’t fully understand the new partner’s flaws. He might see a financial opportunity from you, which could explain the rushed marriage. There are potential negative outcomes in this situation.
@Zion
He is a pharmacist and she’s a pharmacy technician. I sense he may be controlling her to pursue full custody. He made an aggressive call demanding full custody without factoring in our input, getting rude once my partner refused to agree.