Custody and CS Orders Are 8-10 Years Old. Splitting Up After Reconciling (Kentucky)

Hey all…

I’m really struggling with all the unknowns in my life right now and could really use some advice. Here’s some background:

The father of my children and I were never married. We split up when the kids were little, and a custody order was put in place in 2014. Child support was modified in 2015, increasing the amount from $715 to $1500 per month. We reconciled in 2016, and I cancelled enforcement with the Child Support Enforcement Office since we got back together. Fast forward to now, and he ended our relationship again in August. We’ve both hired attorneys and plan to share 50/50 custody this time.

In my state, child support orders can’t be enforced while both parents are back together and living together. I’m not sure if it’s the same in Kentucky, but I hope it is.

It sounds like he’s been supporting you and the kids for the last eight years, saving you at least $1600 a month, plus covering other costs. It seems unfair to ask him for $144k now.

Actually, the rent increase only happened recently. Our rent was $1325 in 2022, and now it’s $1880. I’m looking at places that are 800 square feet smaller.

I do have an income, and over the years, I’ve contributed much more of it than he has. I never said I’m coming after him for $144k. But laws are laws, and he probably should have filed a petition to cancel or modify the support, right?

I’m not a lawyer, but I do know business, and taking on a single-member LLC can be tough because personal and business finances often mix. If I were in your shoes, to avoid spending time and money on something that may not even pay off during the next 3-5 years of child support (3 years for one child, 5 years for the other), I’d stick with the $1500/month. That’s a good amount, and it might even go down after his recent financials are reviewed. I used Kentucky’s child support calculator, and unless he’s earning more than $180,000 a year, the support likely won’t increase.

You haven’t mentioned what you do for work or what your income is. The $1500 would cover almost all of your rent, leaving you with just $100 to cover. Your income could then go toward other expenses.

I understand how terrible this situation is, but the courts won’t factor in what he did emotionally when calculating child support. It’s a hard lesson, but don’t use child support or custody as a way to get back at him for what happened.

I teach fourth grade at a local public school…You said a tough lesson learned. So would that not apply to him in this situation? He never filed a petition to cancel or modify the order.

You’ll probably be stuck with the debt you took on. He’s likely locked into paying that $1500 unless he gets it modified. I don’t think you can recover anything he didn’t pay while you were living together. It might be best to move forward with the $1500 per month and not dwell on the past.

Your debts won’t be taken into consideration. Those are on you. Yall moved in together and you cancelled the need to enforce, but didn’t cancel the order all together. All this will eventually be taken into consideration when you’re in court.

Are you asking if they can go after him for back pay, for while you were living together ?

This is complicated, but if he didn’t have the support order stopped, then he’s still on the hook. You should talk to child support about resuming collection. He will fight it, and the court may waive some.

Yes, that should help guide your options. Even with 50/50 custody, if he makes more, he’ll likely still have to pay. They can also factor in any back payments when determining the new amount.