I’m a 30-year-old pregnant woman currently living in Somerset County, ME. I’m due in November 2024, and I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed. I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend (41), who is also the father of my unborn child, was cheating on me with a much younger coworker. She reached out to me, sharing the details of their affair once she learned about my pregnancy. After confronting him, he admitted to everything, saying it was just a mistake from being drunk and bored at work. I ended our relationship, but we’re still living together in the same apartment since the lease is too costly to break.
I’m planning to move out as soon as our lease ends in March 2025. However, things have become increasingly hostile, and he recently threatened to have me arrested if I move out with the baby once they are born. He’s insisting that he’ll fight for custody if I try to leave and is making me feel trapped. I don’t have much family support around here and don’t know what my options are legally.
Is there anything he can do to stop me from moving out with our child once I give birth? Could he actually have me arrested for leaving? I want to protect myself and my baby but don’t know what steps to take. Any advice or guidance on what I should do next?
If a dad’s not listed on the birth certificate and already owes back child support, he can’t really come after you for custody. No judge is gonna make him responsible for another kid when he’s already behind on payments for the others he can’t afford.
Get as far away as possible!!! Move across the country if you can! Change your number, delete your social media, switch up your bank info, get a new phone…everything. It’s like you’re going into witness protection. Do it ASAP, I’m dead serious.
You gotta leave now, seriously, and without any warning…He doesn’t want the baby, and you two are done. You could be in real danger here. Think about Laci Peterson or Shanann Watts…neither of their partners had any obvious history of abuse, and yours does. Please, protect yourself and your baby.
Also, he can’t have you arrested for leaving with the child. Even if he’s legally the father, he can’t pull that unless you leave the state, and only if there’s a court-ordered custody plan in place.
If you don’t want to deal with child support, don’t even go after it. You don’t have to put his name on the birth certificate, and honestly, you probably shouldn’t.
My daughter’s dad tried to pull the same kind of threat on me. He said he’d hire a lawyer and charge me with “abandoning the state.” I told him to go for it, not really knowing much about the law, and called his bluff. Fast forward five years, I remarried, and my husband wanted to adopt my daughter.
They had a sheriff deliver the papers to his parents’ house, but they told the sheriff he was in a live-in rehab and couldn’t be served. So, the sheriff just gave the papers to his parents, who claimed they’d fight it and that he’d never allow it. I was super nervous on the day of the adoption hearing, thinking they’d all show up to challenge us. But not a single person showed up, and it turned out he was too messed up to even remember what was happening.
Just go and get away from him before that baby is born.
Move out now. When moving out, get a civil assist (police officer watching over the move) so he doesn’t do anything. It appears you have resources, so they could possibly buy you out of the lease so you can go to a safe place.
He can’t have you arrested for that. Leaving while you’re pregnant isn’t a crime. You could even move out of state and have the baby without telling him, and if his name isn’t on the birth certificate, there’s not much he can do about it. The only way he could challenge you is if he gets a judge to order a paternity test and then fights you in court for visitation. But considering he’s a deadbeat dad to three other kids he can’t even take care of, let’s be real—he probably won’t go through all that.
He’s just throwing a big manbaby tantrum, and everything he says is just a bluff.
So, move out. Ghost him. Live a happy life with your baby and leave the trash where it belongs.
No way!!! You can’t be charged with kidnapping when there’s no kid yet. It’s definitely in your best interest to move out and figure out where you want to establish residency before the baby arrives.