Grandchildren Left at My Home

My son was arrested while my wife and I were babysitting our grandchildren. It has now been over 5 months since his arrest, and he is looking at spending at least one year in jail. Their mother is not in jail, but she has decided to move on and has not contacted us or her children.

I have tried to reach out to the authorities, but they are unwilling to help, saying it’s not a case of child abandonment because we were babysitting at the time of my son’s arrest. I cannot afford a lawyer, and I make too much money to qualify for legal aid.

I am seeking advice on how to legally get guardianship of the children so I can make decisions for them regarding hospital visits, school enrollment, and other important matters.

Can you ask your son for their health insurance card? Do they not have health insurance?

If there is a law school nearby, check if they have a legal clinic. The students, under supervision, may be able to help you.

Have you spoken to your son about guardianship? Can he sign them over to you? Have you tried contacting their mother?

Call DCFS and ask what they recommend. They aren’t just for reporting neglect—they can also provide resources in situations like this.

Dior said:
Call DCFS and ask what they recommend. They aren’t just for reporting neglect—they can also provide resources in situations like this.

Pediatric nurse here—I agree. Also, CAC (Child Advocacy Center) helps coordinate resources.

You might be eligible for kinship care benefits, which could include financial support.

Parrish said:
You might be eligible for kinship care benefits, which could include financial support.

It may not be as much as foster care, but it’s worth applying.

Contact your state bar association—there may be attorneys willing to work pro bono or on a sliding scale. Also, try applying for food stamps, Medicaid, and TANF through your local income support division for the kids. You could also search for ‘kinship guardianship forms’ online in your state to get started on legal guardianship.

You can file for a temporary guardianship. I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve worked in legal aid, and I can help you complete the forms. Let me know your state, and we can work through it together.

In my area, we have a form called a Delegation of Parental Authority. It gives someone temporary authority to care for minors. If your son hasn’t established custody through the court, the mother may need to sign it.

Visit your son in jail—he can sign a power of attorney. It should be good for about six months, which would allow you to enroll them in school and get them medical care.

Call your state’s department of child services and inquire about kinship care. The state may even provide some financial support.

Try contacting your state court system and look on their website for self-help or family law forms. You may be able to file for temporary guardianship, which will allow you to take care of the children’s medical and educational needs. Schools, doctors, and other officials typically respect court-ordered guardianship.

You can apply for emergency custody at your county courthouse. It usually goes through quickly, and it would allow you to apply for benefits as a temporary legal guardian.

When I was in jail, some of the women signed over temporary rights to grandparents to help with school and medical care. It’s worth trying this route. You’re doing a great thing for your grandchildren—they need you right now.

Go to social services and apply for TANF for the kids. They can also provide you with other resources.

Jamie said:
Go to social services and apply for TANF for the kids. They can also provide you with other resources.

Social workers in your area will know the exact steps you need to take. They generally prefer children to stay with family instead of entering foster care.

Try to get guardianship, then pursue child support from the mother.

Apply for guardianship at the superior court in your area.