I haven’t seen my son in 36 days because his mother is violating our temporary standing order. She says we’ll just have to wait and see what the court says, referring to a hearing that’s still two months away. My son misses me, and her family tells him he doesn’t have a dad.
“My son misses me and her family tells him he doesn’t have a dad.”
How do you know this? If you haven’t seen him, who on your side has? You need proof to show she is sabotaging you, which is also a violation. If you have a temporary standing order that’s being violated, contact your lawyer or the police.
@Fallon
The mother calls me once every two weeks and sounds apologetic. She tells me my son always asks about me and that she feels guilty because her family is so controlling. In the last 36 days, she has sneaked in about 11 minutes of phone time where I talked to him, and he gets so happy and asks when we can play again.
@Sloan
How is she being held hostage by her family? They shouldn’t have custody. Is she under 18 or completely dependent on them? You might need to get child protective services (or your country’s equivalent) involved.
@Fallon
She’s 23 and very dependent after years of verbal/emotional abuse from her family.
@Fallon
DCF has a case open, but it’s low priority since there’s no physical danger. The mother is completely dependent on her family. When I go there with the police, they don’t even let her speak out of fear she’ll incriminate them.
@Sloan
What do the police do when they’re there?
When I call the non-emergency line, the police come and document what’s happening. They understand and have said they wish they could remove my son, but without specific dates and times on the order, they can’t do more than write reports. Sometimes they even try to convince her family that they’re not acting in the child’s best interest, but the family doesn’t care.
You can file a motion in family court for not following the temporary order. You should have done it 35 days ago. File an ex parte hearing on the basis that the mother is keeping the child from you. Call the police and make a report each time you’re supposed to have the child to start a paper trail.
A friend of mine went through this, made multiple police reports, and filed in court. Now she has full custody and the father has supervised visits.
You can’t keep children from their parents when there’s a court order. People only get away with it because the other parent doesn’t take action.
@Hale
All of this! This is the best advice.
@Hale
I hope I can act on the temporary order like you say. My lawyer told me the court won’t hear anything until we’ve mediated, but she’s prolonging the mediation process on purpose.
Sloan said:
@Hale
I hope I can act on the temporary order like you say. My lawyer told me the court won’t hear anything until we’ve mediated, but she’s prolonging the mediation process on purpose.
That doesn’t make sense. Your lawyer sounds incompetent if they’re saying you have to wait for mediation. They should be filing for you to be the primary residential parent and limited visitation for the mother while she’s living with her parents. The child needs a guardian ad litem, and her parents are not acting in your son’s best interest.
@Ori
I consulted several lawyers, and they all said the Florida court doesn’t hear motions until parents have tried mediation.
Sloan said:
@Hale
I hope I can act on the temporary order like you say. My lawyer told me the court won’t hear anything until we’ve mediated, but she’s prolonging the mediation process on purpose.
Get a new lawyer.
File charges. Parental alienation is child abuse.
Rory said:
File charges. Parental alienation is child abuse.
This is not how it works. Private citizens can’t decide who gets prosecuted for crimes; the state does.
Rory said:
File charges. Parental alienation is child abuse.
This is not how it works. Private citizens can’t decide who gets prosecuted for crimes; the state does.
A private citizen can file charges, like a citizen’s arrest. Filing contempt is similar.
@Rory
Contempt of court and criminal child abuse charges are very different things. Citizens cannot file criminal child abuse charges.
I know someone who lost custody for withholding kids. The father filed in court, and when the judge asked the mother why she was keeping the kids away, she said because she could. The judge reversed custody immediately.
I’m going through something similar—day 16. It’s devastating. The court system is slow and frustrating. I hope you get to see your son soon.