I Received a Child Support Letter as a Non-Custodial Parent What Should I Do?

Hi all

I just received a letter from Child Support Services today, but I couldn’t log in to my account because of a required code, and unfortunately, the office is currently closed. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by this situation, especially since my partner and I recently separated.

Here’s the backstory: My child generally resides with me most of the time because her mother works. My father, who works from home, is the primary caregiver during the day. Given this arrangement, I’m confused about why I’m receiving a request for child support.

What steps can I take to contest this request? Is there a way for me to avoid paying support since I have my child more than 50% of the time? Or am I obligated to pay regardless of my custody situation?

Child support goes by overnights. You do not have more than 50/50 or even 50/50.

TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE… my best advice is to start keeping track of how often you have the child and when they stay overnight with you. Since you mentioned that you both recently separated, think about what each of you has been doing for the child since then. What do holidays look like? Who’s handling the health insurance? What’s your current parenting plan? What are your financial responsibilities for the child?

Knowing the answers to these questions and keeping proof that you and your ex are sticking to the parenting agreement is crucial. It might turn out that she could owe you child support. When you go to court, it usually comes down to who spends the most time caring for the child and how much income each of you brings in. My ex and I didn’t amend our child support agreement for almost 14 years because we had one in place from the start since we weren’t together when our child was born.

I know it’s nerve-racking, stressful, and exhausting, but you’ll get through it. Wishing you all the best

Does your mom have the kid after work? How about overnight or on weekends? If the kid is staying in your house…especially if it sounds like a multi-generational setup…for your dad to watch them while you’re at work, that sounds more like daycare or babysitting and doesn’t really count as residential time.

How are you the non custodial parent if the child lives with you more than 50% of the time?

Maybe just ask the mom what it’s about? I know that in some 50/50 custody arrangements, if one person makes significantly less, they might still have to pay support. It could help to clarify the situation directly with her…

Depending on the state you live in, there are several things that can open a child support case, such as TANF, food stamps, medical assistance, childcare, or a direct application to the child support office. If you have more than 50% custody and can prove it—depending on the state and the reason the case was opened—it might be as simple as objecting to anything you’re served with and getting a hearing.

You may also need to report fraud if the case opened because of one of the public assistance programs, as a child typically has to be in the other parent’s household for at least 51% of the time for them to qualify. That’s how it works in Washington, where I work for the Division of Child Support.

Am smelling a scam. Make sure to call the court’s number, but don’t use the one on that letter. If there are any changes to child support, they would discuss it in court with you present.

Contact the child support agency that sent you the correspondence and explain your circumstances. Ask them if they can tell you why the case was opened (some might share that info, while others may refuse due to confidentiality policies). Then, find out what actions they’re currently taking—like whether there’s already an order in place, if they’re trying to establish a new one, or if they’re enforcing an existing order—and what your options are.

After that, consult with attorneys to understand your full legal options in your state, along with your rights and obligations.