@Chao
A state can’t just take it. The original state must be willing to give it up. One state can ask to change jurisdiction, but the original state can say no. When you file for divorce with kids, custody and visitation are part of that. There doesn’t need to be an active order in place. The filing alone establishes where jurisdiction will be.
Jade said:
@Oren
You missed the part where he filed for divorce in his state, which gives that state jurisdiction. What you referenced only applies if no jurisdiction has been established.
What I said still applies. You just need to think logically. If she hasn’t been gone for 6 months, the kid’s home state is still where they lived before moving.
He mentioned she cheated and left with the kids. He tried working it out for a couple of months and visited his kids as much as possible, then filed for divorce. He said it all started in late June and he filed in late July. That’s not a couple of months. That’s literally one month. How was his daughter enrolled in school in one month?… during summer? He said the mother has established herself with the kids. That wouldn’t be established in a month.
@Oren
You can’t assume anything. June and July is a couple of months. Legally it wouldn’t be established, but personally, they could easily feel established in a month. Not for legal reasons, but personally. School could mean a summer program or daycare. Regardless, he has already filed in his state, so that’s where jurisdiction will be. Even if the kids moved and take up residency in another state, jurisdiction will stay where OP filed first as long as one party to the proceedings still lives there.
How long has it been since she left?
Kim said:
How long has it been since she left?
I see now. Whatever you do, don’t let her live there for at least 6 months before you file.
Kim said:
How long has it been since she left?
I see now. Whatever you do, don’t let her live there for at least 6 months before you file.
It’s more than just filing. You have to get a parenting order in place. Just filing for divorce doesn’t pause the UCCJEA.
Kim said:
How long has it been since she left?
I see now. Whatever you do, don’t let her live there for at least 6 months before you file.
I filed in late July. Sorry, should have been more specific and included that in the post.
@Torrin
Did you file in the place you live? Where they used to live?
The next step is to file to make her return, or you can just pick the kids up from school or not return them. You cannot let them live there more than half the nights for 6 months, or jurisdiction will change, and you may never get them back.
If you don’t have a lawyer, you can find one or get a low-cost meeting with one by contacting your state bar association.
@Torrin
Things should work in your favor then. I’m in a similar situation and hope to get primary too. Best of luck to you!
Kim said:
How long has it been since she left?
Late June.
Don’t wait. Right now you have a legal advantage that will go away if you let them live somewhere else for 6 months before taking action.
Do you have a lawyer? If so, they should be filing to return the kids. If not, you need one or you will lose your kids.
Akira said:
Do you have a lawyer? If so, they should be filing to return the kids. If not, you need one or you will lose your kids.
Yes, I have one. They haven’t pushed for that. I feel like they’ve been too relaxed.
@Torrin
What has your lawyer said when you’ve asked them why they’re being complacent? There’s nothing in your post that shows they should be, but if they are, there’s a reason they don’t think you can get it.
@Wynn
I said I feel like they’ve been too relaxed. I feel this way because of how long the process is taking. I know they’re following the legal processes. Sometimes, it took days for them to answer my questions early on. I’m surprised they didn’t push for a return when she didn’t have a place to live.
@Torrin
Then talk to a few more lawyers. You can call around and see who can offer a free or low-cost consultation, or contact your state bar association for a free referral. Don’t wait. You only have until November to get them back full time, or you could lose them forever.
@Torrin
It wouldn’t hurt to shop around and get consultations from other lawyers.