My firstborn is almost 12 years old and has no father listed on the birth certificate. The biological father hasn’t contacted us or tried to reach out in those 12 years, and his family has been absent as well. My fiancé has been in my child’s life since he was 6 months old and my son refers to him as Dad. He really takes on the dad role. We also have a 2-year-old together. My son doesn’t know about his biological father. My question is, can my fiancé sign his name on the birth certificate, or do we have to go through the courts?
The only way for your fiancé to be added to the birth certificate is through adoption. If he were to just sign it, that could be seen as fraud since he wasn’t involved around the time of conception. The adoption process also opens up discussions about parentage, which goes beyond just blood relations.
You should consider being honest with your child if he doesn’t know yet. If he finds out later, it might feel like a betrayal to him.
Orion said:
You should consider being honest with your child if he doesn’t know yet. If he finds out later, it might feel like a betrayal to him.
Secrets like this often come out, especially in today’s world. He will find out; it’s just a matter of time.
You can’t just change a birth certificate. For instance, if you change your name, it remains unchanged on the birth certificate.
Adoption is the legal route. This would also give him legal authority in case anything happens to you.
Even if he could sign it, he shouldn’t. Get legally married first, then he can adopt if that’s what everyone wants.
No, that would be considered fraud. Be honest with your son. Kids are more resilient than you think, and they deserve to know the truth, especially for medical reasons.
So you’ve been lying to your son? You want to commit fraud by saying your fiancé is the biological father? Have you ever filed for child support? If not, why? What if you break up with your fiancé? Are you okay with him getting custody and you only having visitation rights?
@Winter
I wouldn’t be committing fraud if I do it legally. I was just looking for guidance. Nowhere did I say I want to commit fraud. This legal stuff is new to me, and I’m unsure of what to do. I’ve never filed for child support or been on state assistance. We have an agreement regarding custody if that ever comes up. But we’ve been together for 12 years, so I’ll deal with that if it happens.
@Jess
The only way he can be on the birth certificate is to sign the Certificate of Paternity, which requires you both to swear you are the biological parents. If you sign it knowing he’s not the biological father, that is fraud. If you plan to get married, your fiancé can adopt later, but you must serve the biological father first. The fact that you haven’t told your child the truth about who his father is may have serious negative consequences. What if he does a DNA test and discovers his real father? You need to think this through.
As a long-time attorney, I’ve seen many teens find out their supposed dad isn’t really their father, and it can lead to a lot of anger and emotional issues. It’s essential to be honest in a way that doesn’t harm your child. Plus, many states require the child to consent to their adoption, which means he needs to know his fiancé is not his biological father.
He will need to adopt your son. Since there’s no presumed father listed, this shouldn’t be too complicated.