Parenting time when kids are with grandparents

My wife sends our kids to their grandparents (my dad and his wife, whom I am currently not on good terms with) on her scheduled weekends, about six times a year. Does that time with the grandparents still count as her parenting time? I’m representing myself in our divorce and trying to understand if those weekends affect the calculation of custodial parent status, specifically in terms of overnights for school district purposes. I’m not trying to take away time from anyone; I just want clarity.

Half a dozen weekends a year amounts to about 3%, which is not significant enough to affect primary custody. The judge will likely consider other factors like daycare, school, or extracurriculars if custody is already close to 50/50.

Yes, those nights count as her time. She’s making decisions during her parenting time, which includes allowing the kids to spend time with their grandparents.

Yes, unless a court order specifies otherwise, parents can use their parenting time as they wish, including letting the children stay with grandparents. The time still counts as hers.

Do you have the right of first refusal (ROFR)? If not, you might consider adding it to your parenting plan. If you do, you could ask to modify parenting time if it becomes a pattern.

Jude said:
Do you have the right of first refusal (ROFR)? If not, you might consider adding it to your parenting plan. If you do, you could ask to modify parenting time if it becomes a pattern.

I do have ROFR, but I’m not trying to enforce it here. I just want to understand the technicalities.

@Bryce
If you think she’s sending the kids away too often, you should start exercising your ROFR at least half of the time to demonstrate your willingness to be there for them.

The time with grandparents still counts as her overnights for the purpose of calculating custodial status. If you have ROFR, it’s something to consider if her time with the kids continues to be inconsistent.

This issue doesn’t sound significant enough to affect custody. It only involves six weekends per year, which isn’t enough for the court to consider changing custodial status.

Noel said:
This issue doesn’t sound significant enough to affect custody. It only involves six weekends per year, which isn’t enough for the court to consider changing custodial status.

I’m not trying to take time away from anyone, just trying to understand the details, as I’m representing myself.

That time counts as her parenting time. Visiting grandparents six times a year is generally seen as positive unless there are safety concerns.

Dane said:
That time counts as her parenting time. Visiting grandparents six times a year is generally seen as positive unless there are safety concerns.

I don’t have any safety concerns. My goal is for my kids to have strong relationships with all their family members.