Hello, I have been a stay-at-home mom since my son was born almost 14 months ago. I was in a relationship with his father, but we are not married and currently live together in a rented house. My name is on the lease, but I do not pay the bills. Today, he informed me that he is ending our relationship and plans to cancel the lease tomorrow, giving me three months to find a new place to live.
There is currently no custody agreement in place, although he has indicated that I will have our son the majority, if not all, of the time. Unfortunately, I have no savings, and I cannot seek employment due to the lack of childcare for my baby. I understand that my next steps should involve addressing the custody situation, but his father is already showing signs of being uncooperative, and I do not have the funds for a lawyer.
On a positive note, I have Medicaid for both myself and my baby, as well as EBT, so I am somewhat secure in that regard. I am posting in several different forums because I need advice on housing options (there is no Section 8 available in my area due to a long waiting list) as well as the necessary legal steps I should take.
Consider exploring daycare options in your area. Additionally, would attending college be something you might be interested in pursuing? Identifying your passion can help ensure that you are not dependent on another person in the future.
Search for Section 42 housing apartments, as they operate on a sliding scale based on income. Additionally, apply for assistance with daycare costs.
If your name’s on the lease, just chat with the landlord and let them know you’re not ending the lease—he’s the one leaving.
You have three months. It is advisable to visit the welfare office tomorrow and speak with a representative. They can assist you in applying for childcare subsidies, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), emergency housing, and job placement resources. You have time, which is a privilege not all women in similar situations receive.
Once you secure food, housing, and employment, focus on establishing child support and custody arrangements. Consider reaching out to free legal aid for assistance.
Take proactive steps to organize your situation: secure a job, attend community college using a Pell Grant, and strive for independence. You are capable of achieving this! Best of luck.
Social services will pursue the father for child support.
1 Like
Yes and this is a Great advice…
Apply for a childcare subsidy through the Department of Social Services (DSS) and seek employment as soon as possible. Additionally, consider utilizing the Work First program for job training and childcare funding.
Many women make this mistake, particularly when they are not married as a couple. If you decide to marry in the future and wish to be a stay-at-home mom, it is advisable to obtain a prenuptial agreement. This agreement can address compensation for relinquishing a potential career in the event of a divorce.
Learn from this experience and file for child support as soon as possible.
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have over 20 years of experience as a family law paralegal, and I can relate to your circumstances on a personal level. It is essential that you seek legal representation.
Visit the courthouse and inquire with the Family Court Clerk (or the equivalent office in your area) about how to contact the local pro bono agency. They typically conduct weekly legal aid clinics where an attorney can assist you by answering questions, helping with paperwork and procedures, and possibly even taking you on as a client.
The father will be expected to contribute his proportional share to child-related expenses, including childcare, healthcare, and other associated costs.
Withdraw all funds from any bank accounts to which you have access.
You need to go to the county office to apply for assistance, including WIC and food and housing aid. Inquire about hotel stay coverage or shelters for women and children, as well as transportation vouchers to relocate with your parents if you do not have a car. Cancel any accounts in your name and remove yourself from all credit-building activities. Your partner will also be responsible for paying child support; however, given that he has evicted you and your shared child with only one day’s notice, he may find it challenging to establish physical or legal custody unless you are represented by a poor lawyer. It is advisable to seek professional legal services, contact local law schools, and inquire about community legal aid clinics.
Once child support is established, it will reimburse any child aid you receive from public assistance. Therefore, you will need to secure employment and childcare assistance. Consider enrolling in classes for certification, as two-year IT service certificates tend to be the most lucrative. Programming jobs are also promising, but network administration is an excellent field as well.
You have some great suggestions here but there are two things not so great ones.
- Sweeping bank accounts of all the money just because one has “access” is not a good idea. Because she is not working, I would assume the money came from his earnings so it’s HIS money. Remember, they are NOT married so she has no claim of community property.
- OP says he has given her THREE MONTHS to find a new place to live, not one day. He isn’t going to lose the right to see his child because of that and to be frank, some court’s may not see him as unreasonable.
She does need to go to her local resource office and apply for cash and housing assistance. She has Medicaid and EBT so she is already active in their system and is required to report any change in circumstances anyway. They will help her with workforce training if she needs it.