I’m looking for some advice regarding my situation. My ex and I separated in early July, just before our five-month wedding anniversary, and she has expressed her desire for a divorce but hasn’t filed yet. I sent her a text stating that July 1 is our official separation date.
My major concerns are issues like this:
Financial Benefits: If we remain separated without any divorce paperwork, could she gain any financial benefits from our marriage just by prolonging the separation? Specifically, will she be entitled to any portion of my wages or investment income accrued during this time?
Debt Liability: She informed me about her $75,000 debt before we got married, which has now decreased to around $60,000. Since this debt was incurred before our marriage, am I liable for it? I also paid off our joint credit cards during our time together, and I’m not worried about compensation for that, but I want to ensure I’m not responsible for her pre-marriage debts.
Community Property: Since Washington is a community property state, how does this affect our separation and any future divorce proceedings? What should I be aware of as we navigate this situation?
I also live in Washington. The attorneys here offer an initial free consultation where they can answer general questions, like yours. However, this meeting isn’t for detailed financial discussions. I’ve consulted with a lawyer myself and have taken a friend or two to an initial meeting.
Just to clarify, I’m not a lawyer: After five years, I was told that Washington expects both spouses to return to work and support themselves within two years, so extended alimony is unlikely. Child support is usually around $1,000 a month, even with a high salary (I consider that light because Washington is a high-cost-of-living state). Everything changes if the lower-income spouse is in school or if they’ve been married for 20 years or more; in those cases, expectations for alimony shift, and it may be ordered for a longer period, along with retirement payments. Be sure to ask your own lawyer for specific advice.
In general, with community property rules, you aren’t responsible for debts that are only in one person’s name, and the community property ends on the date of separation. However, there are exceptions, so it’s important to discuss your situation with a lawyer.
If you have a low income, your county might offer legal services. I know Snohomish County does.
You should talk to a divorce lawyer about the financial side of things. They often offer consultations for people who are unsure about getting a divorce. You can’t make someone love you. I feel sorry that you’re in a one-sided relationship.
I’m not a lawyer, but you might consider filing for legal separation to protect your finances while staying married. This would allow her to decide whether to reconcile or proceed with the divorce.