Has anyone had success getting sole custody in New Mexico? My ex only has the kids on weekends and doesn’t make decisions for them, but he won’t agree to sign over sole custody, and it seems the state defaults to joint custody. Any advice?
If he’s consistently seeing the kids, it’ll be tough to get sole custody unless there’s a significant safety risk.
Courts usually won’t remove a parent’s rights without serious reasons—just being uninvolved isn’t enough.
Indra said:
Courts usually won’t remove a parent’s rights without serious reasons—just being uninvolved isn’t enough.
Sole custody doesn’t mean terminating the other parent’s rights.
@Corey
True, but if you’re looking for sole physical and legal custody, that’s tough. If you want sole custody in terms of all decision-making, it likely won’t happen either.
What’s your current custody order?
Remy said:
What’s your current custody order?
No order yet; still working through it with lawyers.
Remy said:
What’s your current custody order?
No order yet; still working through it with lawyers.
If he’s still involved with the kids, getting sole custody is unlikely. Courts need a strong reason to sever rights, and inconsistency isn’t enough.
@Remy
He doesn’t get them medical care when they’re sick, and he lives with people he barely knows.
Cleo said:
@Remy
He doesn’t get them medical care when they’re sick, and he lives with people he barely knows.
That sounds tough, but legally, it may not carry much weight unless there’s a direct danger to the kids. Courts generally maintain parent-child relationships unless there’s a serious issue. Try to negotiate terms that you can live with, like setting exchanges at neutral locations or limiting overnight stays.
@Zane
It’s been really hard; he isolated me from family when I was 18, and he’s been financially abusive. Only after the kids were born did I see his narcissistic behavior. When I got a lawyer, he switched from wanting me to have the house to fighting for the kids.
@Cleo
I’m sorry to hear that. When dealing with a narcissistic ex, you have to be strategic. Look into the ‘grey rock’ technique, keep all communication minimal and neutral, and document everything. If he’s hostile at custody exchanges, consider using a neutral drop-off point or a third party. Always document agreements via email or text to keep a record and avoid emotional discussions. Hang in there—you’re not alone in this.