A year ago, I agreed to reduce child support to $0 because trying to enforce it was costing me more than it was worth. At the same time, I gained primary custody of the kids. His argument was that he would split their expenses, so he didn’t see why he should pay child support, especially since I earn more than him. Now, a year later, he barely contributes to anything, including after-school care and extracurricular activities that we both agreed to. When he does (rarely) pay, he says I should be grateful because he’s just ‘helping me out.’ While I have the financial means to cover all my children’s expenses, it feels unfair for the responsibility to fall entirely on me, and it’s exhausting to keep chasing him. Since it’s been less than three years, and there’s technically no legal obligation for him to pay half of these costs, would filing a request for child support with the Attorney General be a waste of time? I’ve already spent so much money on an attorney the first time when he was in arrears until I ultimately forgave it and reduced it to $0 and just focused on custody. I don’t want to do it again.
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. It seems like he won by getting out of child support. I totally get how exhausting this is. I had a rough time too and got into debt. If you think you can make it work, I’d say go for it. There was a time my ex filed for a lot of stuff to pressure me into giving him what he wanted. I didn’t back down, and eventually, he admitted it was tiring and expensive.
@Zhen
That’s tough. It feels like I’m constantly chasing him for help. I just want to be fair about responsibilities.
Do you have full custody? Does he have any visitation ordered by the court?
Ren said:
Do you have full custody? Does he have any visitation ordered by the court?
I have primary. He has possession days ordered by the court.
Ren said:
Do you have full custody? Does he have any visitation ordered by the court?
Then you should never have let him out of child support.
I’d recommend filing for child support directly through the CSEA. They’ll handle everything from there.
Hux said:
I’d recommend filing for child support directly through the CSEA. They’ll handle everything from there.
That sounds like a good option. I just hope it won’t be another huge hassle.
It might be worth talking to an attorney again. You may not be able to change child support without a substantial change in circumstances.
Hayes said:
It might be worth talking to an attorney again. You may not be able to change child support without a substantial change in circumstances.
I really don’t want to go through that expense again. But I guess I need to know my options.
Can you not have the state deal with child support? They could go after him once you get it modified to him paying again.
Taliesin said:
Can you not have the state deal with child support? They could go after him once you get it modified to him paying again.
That could work. I just want to make sure I’m not wasting my time or money.