I have sole physical custody of my son, and his dad has joint legal custody. He moved 2.5 hours away several years ago, and we already went back to court to set up a long-distance visitation schedule where he sees our son every other weekend from Friday to Sunday and two non-consecutive weeks during the summer and holidays. I’ve lived in the same town for the past 12 years, where our son was born. I have always rented a house from my parents here, but now they need to move back into their home. I can’t afford to rent or buy in this area, so my husband and I decided to look for a place in a different county. We found a house we like and plan to make an offer this weekend.
The court order says that we must notify the other parent 45 days before we move, but it doesn’t say anything about what happens if we’ve already made an offer or even closed on the house. The house we’re looking at is 54 miles away in the opposite direction, and we would need to change our son’s school. My question is: Can my ex take me back to court and stop me from moving, even if we are already in escrow or have closed on the house? Nothing about our current visitation schedule will change because my parents still live in the area, so I’ll bring our son to them for pickups, as we’ve done before.
To sum up: Can I proceed with buying a house after following the notification process, even if the visitation and transportation stay exactly the same? My son is 12, and he’s really excited about the move.
Laws can differ from state to state. I’m in Washington.
You should give notice at the last possible moment. If the order says 45 days, then provide that notice but not more. You’re not asking for permission, just notifying. After that, it’s up to him to file with the court if he wants to block the move. He might try to make things difficult, but it’s unlikely that your move would be blocked. Since he already lives far away, that helps your case. Worst case, you might need to make some adjustments on the transportation side, like meeting him in your old town. Long story short, it’s a free country, and it’s not likely the court would prevent you from moving under these circumstances.
It really depends on the wording of your current court order. Since he has joint legal custody, big decisions like changing schools should be agreed upon by both parents. Some orders have geographic restrictions. I would recommend speaking with a family law lawyer as soon as possible to understand exactly what your rights are and how to handle it if you end up in court.
I can’t speak for California, but in Illinois, yes, he can stop you even if you’re already in the middle of the home purchase process. He could delay your move for a long time.
Pax said:
I can’t speak for California, but in Illinois, yes, he can stop you even if you’re already in the middle of the home purchase process. He could delay your move for a long time.
But he already moved far away, and the visitation wouldn’t change, right?
@Zyler
If you’re in California, at least from what I know from about ten years ago, courts tend to assume the parent will move and then decide what’s in the best interest of the child. If you’re moving to a significantly worse school district, that could be a problem. But if neither of you live in the current district anymore, the court might compare the current schools and make a decision based on that. I’m not a lawyer, though, so I can’t say for sure.
@Jory
I’ve had primary custody most of his life. His dad got a DUI with him in the car when he was only 1 and another DUI soon after. He’s been evicted a few times, but things are better now. The schools are about the same, but where he lives now is so small that there’s no middle school, so our son would have to go to one a town over that’s 25 minutes away.
@Zyler
All that stuff doesn’t really matter. I really encourage you to stay focused on what’s best for the child and try not to bring up past issues. Courts will pay attention to that kind of behavior and might see it as unreasonable. Make sure to focus on what’s in your child’s best interest.
Fitz said: @Zyler
He can try to stop the move, but if he does, he’ll need to offer a solution, like taking custody and keeping the child in the restricted area.
But our son would still have to change schools to a place that’s even farther away. I’m not sure how that would make sense. It’s just so stressful because I don’t understand how I can be forced to stay in a place I can’t afford or give up custody of my son. I guess I need to get a lawyer.
@Zyler
What I’m saying is, don’t worry too much. If he wants to stop you from moving, he’ll have to move back to where your son is going to school and take custody so the child doesn’t have to change schools. Do you think he’s willing to do that?
@Fitz
Oh, I see. He definitely wouldn’t be able to do that. He moved away because he couldn’t afford the area anymore, and now he’s settled in a town more than two hours away.
Zyler said: @Fitz
Oh, I see. He definitely wouldn’t be able to do that. He moved away because he couldn’t afford the area anymore, and now he’s settled in a town more than two hours away.
He can file an objection to the move in court, but since he already moved first, he would have a tough time finding a valid reason to block your move. There’s really no reason for him to do so here.