My brother (41) and his wife (43) are separated (but not legally). Over the summer, she left with their 2 kids (11 and 9) and went to Florida to live with her dad because they were fighting a lot. She brought the kids back, but after enrolling them in a Florida school, she didn’t enroll them in school in Ohio. Now she’s taken off to Wisconsin to be with her new boyfriend. She’s told her sisters she’s coming back to take the kids to Wisconsin to live with this new guy. I looked into this guy, and he has a long history of domestic violence charges and is currently facing a felony charge for strangulation. What can my brother do to stop her from taking the kids out of state and away from this man? Does he need to get a court order or temporary custody?
Your brother should file for custody and show proof of the guy’s history. Usually, I’m okay with move-away orders, but not when it’s to live with someone new like this.
He needs to find a good family lawyer, even if he has to borrow money. He can’t be passive about this—he has to stand firm and fight for his kids. He should keep everything in writing when talking to her, like a judge is watching. Be clear, professional, and to the point. No arguments.
@Frost
Good advice, thanks!
I can’t stand it when moms put their boyfriends ahead of their kids. Do whatever you can to keep them away from him!
Sullivan said:
I can’t stand it when moms put their boyfriends ahead of their kids. Do whatever you can to keep them away from him!
Unfortunately, they’ve already met him. He flew to Florida while they were there, and the kids didn’t like him. She stayed with him at his hotel and left the kids with her dad and sister. All this started because my brother would come home from work, and she’d leave for the bar to meet her ex-fiancé.
@Ellis
That’s awful! It’s heartbreaking when moms act like this. When my kids were born, I only wanted to focus on them. Best of luck to you, and I hope you get full custody.
Sullivan said:
@Ellis
That’s awful! It’s heartbreaking when moms act like this. When my kids were born, I only wanted to focus on them. Best of luck to you, and I hope you get full custody.
Thanks, I don’t get it either. I’m just really disappointed in her.
Be careful with some of these comments—they can be overwhelming. Since they’re still married, he has as much right to the kids as she does. He needs to document everything and start filing paperwork to protect his kids.
@Storm
Thanks. It feels like people are downvoting me for just asking for help. He’s been saving all the texts and voicemails.
Ellis said:
@Storm
Thanks. It feels like people are downvoting me for just asking for help. He’s been saving all the texts and voicemails.
Documentation is key. See if there’s a legal aid service in your area to help him with paperwork. If he can’t afford a lawyer, he can try to represent himself, but it’ll be tough. I hope the kids stay safe.
He doesn’t need a lawyer to start the case, but getting one would help a lot. Look up your state’s laws—usually, no one has custody until someone files for it. Since they’re still married, he can probably just keep the kids for now and file for an emergency custody order.
He needs a lawyer right away. They’re still married, but he can get temporary orders filed. He should act fast—like tomorrow.
Not a lawyer, but he needs one immediately. She abandoned the kids, and he should look into a restraining order, divorce, and full custody. It’s a lot, but a lawyer can help him handle it.
I’ve seen a similar situation—my ex dragged our kid around while dating multiple women. It was chaotic. He used one woman for money after she divorced her husband. These men are dangerous, and your brother needs to keep the focus on protecting his kids.
He’ll need to file for divorce to get custody. While they’re still married, she’s free to take the kids anywhere unless there’s a restraining order. He needs to file ASAP to stop her from moving the kids to Wisconsin.
@Keir
He can open a custody case without filing for divorce. But in this case, filing for divorce might be faster, and he should ask for emergency custody.
These guys target newly separated women and it’s all a scam. He needs to save her from herself by getting a lawyer and filing for emergency custody.
Get a lawyer NOW. He needs to file for emergency custody right away. It’s terrifying what’s happening, and this guy sounds dangerous.
I don’t care what you have to do to get him moving—those kids don’t need someone like the new boyfriend in their lives. And the fact that she hasn’t even enrolled them in school? That says a lot about her priorities.
@Kola
Is there any legal aid in Summit County for family law? He’ll have money for a lawyer in November. And yeah, she’s been a mess for the past few years.
Your brother needs to file for custody now, before she tries to take the kids or set up residency somewhere else. He needs to get ahead of this.