I’m a mother in Indiana, and my 3-year-old son, who has autism, currently has a relationship with his father, Carl. We were never married, and I’ve taken care of our son’s needs, including all his therapies and appointments. Since we broke up, I feel like I’m still doing everything while Carl is minimally involved. He only helps when it suits him and refuses to take our son on holidays or help financially. After visits with Carl, my son has more meltdowns and struggles to adjust back to our routine. I’m concerned about the impact this inconsistency might have on him. I have full custody now, and I’m considering whether it would be better to cut Carl out of our lives completely or to seek child support and possibly move to a better area for schools. What should I do?
It sounds like your son feels safe with you, which is important. Routine matters a lot for autistic children, and the inconsistency seems to be affecting him negatively. Seeking child support and presenting these concerns in court could help reinforce that you’re providing the stability he needs.
I agree with seeking child support. If Carl isn’t providing a safe, stable environment, it might be best to limit his involvement. Moving to a better area could benefit your son, especially if it leads to better schools and support services.
While it’s important for children to have both parents, the well-being of your son is the priority. If Carl’s presence is causing distress, it might be worth considering a more permanent change in custody arrangements. Discuss with a lawyer about your options.
Also, think about your own wellbeing. Parenting a child with special needs can be overwhelming without support, so evaluate what’s best for both you and your son in the long run.