My son’s father is taking me to court for custody of our son. He constantly makes threats to take away communication and is making false allegations against me about drug use. He regularly calls me horrific names in front of our child. I’ve got tons of texts and screenshots of him using mushrooms on a regular basis. What are my options if he won’t allow me to speak to our son prior to our court hearing? Can I file a contempt motion? I’m pro se and he has money and a lawyer. I’m at a loss here.
Depending on your local law, you may be able to get a court order that directs him to pay your attorney fees. Given that he can afford an attorney and you cannot, and he is making unfounded accusations of narcotics use, it may be possible to get such an order in this case. I have included a link below to the Florida modest means program, which is meant to help you to get low-cost assistance and representation from attorneys. I would recommend making an appointment through this service if you can. Even if you cannot get one through their program for low cost, they might know lawyers that are willing to help. As to whether or not he can cut off communication between you and your child, that would generally require a court order. While he can try without one, that is just likely to backfire long term. For now, worry about getting a lawyer and let them decide if, and how, to respond.
Save all communication threatening you to take away communication. I just screenshot texts and gave them to my lawyer. Pick out the ones where he’s threatening to cut off all communications, the drug use (which is huge to judges), and anything really bad. Just choose a handful of the worst. If he does drugs and you don’t, proactively do a drug test. My ex made claims in response to my evidence that I’m really the drug user. So I got a hair follicle test going back 2 years showing I don’t do any drugs. That seemed to paint him as a liar to the judge. Get yourself a free consultation with an attorney and some free legal help from one of those legal aid places.
Can’t file contempt for an order that doesn’t exist yet. But it is parental alienation if he goes through with the threats. Document your conversations with him.
Record any conversations. Try to only communicate in writing.
Make sure you know if your state is a one-party or two-party consent state before you start recording conversations.
Keep copious documentation. I recommend keeping an envelope and index cards: write it down and drop it in the envelope and move on for the night. Not worth it to get obsessed. Write his lawyer a formal letter and tell him to get their client back in compliance; it might not work but it will create the paper trail and pattern.
What is the dad supposed to ‘get in compliance’ with when there aren’t any orders to comply with?
In my divorce, my ex did the same, and my attorney at the time filed an interim one to reestablish contact. My lawyer was the worst I didn’t know that until now. If you are pro se, you have to show the court you mean business.
If you can get a lawyer. He may have thrown you out but you left the state. The courts will frown on this.
I left because he told me to do so.
But you didn’t take your child.
Yeah but a judge would see it as a possible abandonment of the child.
Have someone record him calling you names if possible.
Need more info. Are you saying there is no order in place at all? How old is your son? How did he come to be living with his father? How long has that been going on? Do you have any agreement between you? Is it in writing? Do you have a history of substance abuse?
There is no previous agreement in order through the courts. We had a verbal agreement that he would take our child who is 3.5 and move him back to FL with me following just in a different city. He kicked me out and I had but to move back with my family in Ohio.
You should move back to FL before he gets a chance to file against you, seriously. Do not believe a parent who says no courts.
Why would you vote to never use the courts when you two obviously have a toxic relationship? That is a serious question.
Can you pass a drug test right now?
Calling his lawyer prior to a custody hearing will NOT allow him to take away your communication with your child because his lawyer is not a Family Court Judge.