So, going through a divorce here, and my ex keeps threatening to bring up past stuff to hurt my rep, especially with my military command. About a year into the marriage, I was deployed and messed up—no intercourse but some stuff happened that I regret. My command knew and just reassigned me. Haven’t heard about it since, but now she’s saying she’ll bring it all back up to my command. Also, she’s asking for ‘back pay’ for spousal support, even though she’s the one who moved out. Can she do this?
Honestly, it sounds like she’s just trying to scare you. If your command already knew, I doubt they’d take action again. What’s her angle with this ‘back pay’ thing?
Dezi said:
Honestly, it sounds like she’s just trying to scare you. If your command already knew, I doubt they’d take action again. What’s her angle with this ‘back pay’ thing?
Yeah, she’s claiming that she’s owed part of my housing allowance because she didn’t live with me on base during the separation. But she chose to move out, so IDK how that works.
Dezi said:
Honestly, it sounds like she’s just trying to scare you. If your command already knew, I doubt they’d take action again. What’s her angle with this ‘back pay’ thing?
I think that’s all talk, especially if she left by choice. It’s not like the court can give ‘back pay’ for something she opted out of.
So no actual adultery happened? Because I think the military defines it a bit strictly.
DianeRogers said:
So no actual adultery happened? Because I think the military defines it a bit strictly.
Right, there was no intercourse, so no actual ‘adultery’ under the rules. Just messed up in other ways.
DianeRogers said:
So no actual adultery happened? Because I think the military defines it a bit strictly.
Yeah, then I think you’re in the clear. They probably won’t go back and punish you for that.
She sounds like she’s trying to make this as hard as possible. Did she actually tell your command back then?
Amar said:
She sounds like she’s trying to make this as hard as possible. Did she actually tell your command back then?
Yep, she reported it at the time, and my command knew but only reassigned me. Nothing else was done.
Amar said:
She sounds like she’s trying to make this as hard as possible. Did she actually tell your command back then?
Then I doubt she’ll get anywhere bringing it up again. They already knew and handled it.
Are you sure there isn’t some ‘support’ requirement for her while you’re separated? Like in the Navy policy?
Noel said:
Are you sure there isn’t some ‘support’ requirement for her while you’re separated? Like in the Navy policy?
Yeah, we had a verbal agreement—I pay her credit cards and SUV. But she’s claiming she’s still owed back support.
Noel said:
Are you sure there isn’t some ‘support’ requirement for her while you’re separated? Like in the Navy policy?
I think courts only go from when a support request is filed. Can’t ask for ‘back’ support just because.
Man, divorce brings out the worst in people…hopefully the court sees through this.
Lei said:
Man, divorce brings out the worst in people…hopefully the court sees through this.
Agreed. Stay calm and keep your side documented. The court will likely see what’s happening.
Lei said:
Man, divorce brings out the worst in people…hopefully the court sees through this.
That’s the plan…hoping the judge sees it for what it is.