Hey everyone, my wife and I are separating after just two years of marriage. She’s asking me to continue paying military survivor benefits after we split. We weren’t married when I earned my military pay, and I don’t want to continue these benefits because of how short our marriage has been, her age, and her earning potential. Plus, it would mean contacting DFAS to voluntarily elect this and taking payments out of my retirement pay for life. Does anyone know if she could actually make me do this? Could it be something she litigates?
I don’t think she can force you to keep paying if the benefits weren’t earned during your marriage. From what I know, it’s usually tied to pensions earned while married.
Reese said:
I don’t think she can force you to keep paying if the benefits weren’t earned during your marriage. From what I know, it’s usually tied to pensions earned while married.
That’s what I was thinking too. The pension and benefits were all earned way before we got married.
Reese said:
I don’t think she can force you to keep paying if the benefits weren’t earned during your marriage. From what I know, it’s usually tied to pensions earned while married.
Yeah, your pension might be considered for spousal support, but she’s not entitled to the actual benefits. That’s a big difference.
Wait, what’s DFAS? I’ve seen it mentioned, but I’m not familiar with it.
Han said:
Wait, what’s DFAS? I’ve seen it mentioned, but I’m not familiar with it.
Oh, sorry! DFAS stands for Defense Finance and Accounting Service. They handle all the payments and benefits for military folks.
Han said:
Wait, what’s DFAS? I’ve seen it mentioned, but I’m not familiar with it.
Thanks for explaining! Makes sense now. So basically, you’d have to ask them to keep paying the benefits voluntarily?
Han said:
Wait, what’s DFAS? I’ve seen it mentioned, but I’m not familiar with it.
Exactly! It’s not automatic after divorce, and I don’t see a reason to elect it voluntarily.
Legally, it sounds like she doesn’t have much ground to stand on. She could try to litigate, but it might not go anywhere.
Flynt said:
Legally, it sounds like she doesn’t have much ground to stand on. She could try to litigate, but it might not go anywhere.
Agreed. It would be hard for her to argue this unless there was some specific agreement in your divorce settlement.
Flynt said:
Legally, it sounds like she doesn’t have much ground to stand on. She could try to litigate, but it might not go anywhere.
Yeah, that’s my plan—just to keep it out of the settlement entirely. Thanks for the insight!
Have you talked to a lawyer about this? They’d know how likely she is to succeed if she tries to litigate.
Flynt said:
Have you talked to a lawyer about this? They’d know how likely she is to succeed if she tries to litigate.
I’ve started looking into it. From what I understand, it’s unlikely, but I want to be prepared just in case.
Flynt said:
Have you talked to a lawyer about this? They’d know how likely she is to succeed if she tries to litigate.
Good call. Better to know your options ahead of time, especially with legal stuff like this.
Could she just pay for the benefits herself if she wanted to keep them?
Blair said:
Could she just pay for the benefits herself if she wanted to keep them?
Technically, yes, but it’d require some complicated workaround since it’s tied to my retirement pay. Not worth it, IMO.
Blair said:
Could she just pay for the benefits herself if she wanted to keep them?
Yeah, sounds messy. Probably not worth the hassle for either of you.