My soon-to-be ex-wife keeps saying she hopes we can still be friends… But how can you love someone completely, go through a divorce where they hurt you deeply and still want to just be friends? We never started off as just friends. We met, dated, married, and now divorced. I honestly don’t even know how to be friends after all of this… My heart can’t take being just friends. Thanks for listening to my thoughts.
I went through a similar situation. My first wife and I divorced but stayed friendly for a while. Eventually, we went our separate ways for about 12 to 15 years. Out of nowhere, she contacted me while I was on vacation. My second wife, however, asked for a divorce unexpectedly, and I realized she had been seeing someone else for months. After she moved out, she didn’t even pursue the divorce while I tried to fix things. I now only see my first ex occasionally as friends, but I won’t talk to my second ex unless it’s about our child, and even then, it’s very straightforward with no emotions. We are not friends at all after everything that happened.
No way
Haha, I get it. I don’t know what that means either. I don’t hate my wife anymore, but being friends seems impossible. She’s really bitter now and feels entitled. Who wants to be friends with someone like that?
Definitely not if it’s one-sided. That would be torture for the one still in love.
Usually, if they were the one to break up and feel guilty, they ask to stay friends right after the split. But over time, they might change their minds. My ex did that. I think they felt guilty being around me since they moved to a place I wanted to go. I couldn’t afford to move there myself, so I had to move somewhere cheaper that I dislike. I tried being friends, treating them like my other friends, but it was probably too much for them.
I feel the opposite. How can we go from being such a big part of each other’s lives to strangers?
Dru said:
I feel the opposite. How can we go from being such a big part of each other’s lives to strangers?
Maybe it’s the same reasons you got divorced?
Yeah, my soon-to-be ex is saying the same thing. He even says we need to do it for our daughter’s sake. They just don’t want to deal with the consequences of their actions. It’s ridiculous.
I thought my ex and I could be friends. We manage to coparent well, but there are so many things that trigger bad feelings between us. We can’t be around each other for long. Texting works better for us.
Sounds like a way of saying, ‘Will you let me manipulate you again?’
Nope. Just agree to it to get it over with, and then block him. No point in dragging it out.
I was the one who left and asked for the divorce. My ex wants to be friends now. During drop-offs and pick-ups, she wants to chat about everything. I’m fine with being friendly, but I don’t care about her social life unless she wants to share it.
My ex insists on being friends, but I don’t even want to spend time with them anymore. If they want to put in the effort to be friends, they can do that. They haven’t.
My ex and I will never be friends, and I told her that. One minute we’re okay, the next she turns into someone I don’t recognize. She was really harsh with me for a couple of months, saying awful things. Friends don’t do that. Then she got involved with her affair partner and declared they are a couple. Just thinking about her now makes me feel sick.