So, in short, there’s a custody case where my kids’ dad ended up with custody. The thing is, he committed perjury, and I’ve got proof from another court transcript. His lawyer’s taking this all pretty personally and has done some questionable stuff. I’m gathering everything, plus what the judge and GAL did, so I can file for a relief of judgment.
Meanwhile, the dad is under federal investigation for not paying taxes for 18 years. Someone from the bureau reached out to me asking for any information I had about his business and finances.
DCF lost my child more than once. She’s run away three times, and they didn’t even file a missing person’s report! The last time she came back with serious health issues. I’m honestly at a loss here. What do I do when she’s only 13?
Gotta say, some responses here seem harsh. I’m in a similar boat, just in a nearby state. Family court’s so different in some areas, especially conservative ones—folks just do as they please.
My judge actually started a CMC by saying they weren’t ready for my motion for contempt, then delayed it by five months Family court feels broken, maybe even more than the public school system.
Are you in post-decree now? If not, call legal aid ASAP and secure your financials before the IRS takes action against him. It might be simpler to go through your state’s child support agency instead of direct IRS dealings, assuming you’ve got a support order.
You seem kind of all over the place, pointing fingers at everyone involved—the judge, GAL, the opposing lawyer, even your ex. You might want to take a step back and ask yourself what you’re really achieving here. It might just be adding stress for no real gain.
Honestly, the red flag here is saying the judge and GAL are breaking the law. If everyone around you seems to think you’re the problem, it might be time to take a step back. Therapy could help. Spending more money on legal back-and-forth could just end up hurting your case and making it look like you don’t respect the court’s decisions.
@Sam
Exactly. I’ve seen this so many times—kids end up paying the price when one parent keeps pushing like this. And now she’s getting the IRS involved too… could end up with the kids in foster care.
Just being real here… I’ve spent over 20 years in family law, and I’ve NEVER seen anyone get in trouble for perjury after a case. And tax issues? They don’t usually factor in when deciding custody.
It’s disappointing, but that’s the reality. At least where I practice.
Edit: Also, making the other parent look bad doesn’t make you look better by default. A lot of people think that if they ‘expose’ the other parent, they’ll win custody, but sometimes it backfires. Kids can end up in foster care if things get ugly on both sides. Just keep that in mind.
What has your lawyer suggested about the appeals process? You might need a different lawyer if the first one doesn’t see a chance of success. Keep in mind that going back to fix things could be very costly, and there’s no guarantee it’ll help.
And, honestly, if your ex ends up in jail for tax issues, how does that improve things for your kids and you? Just something to think about.
If you focus too much on your ex’s issues, it could backfire. Remember, lawyers lie, judges make mistakes, and people lie even under oath. Trying to correct past mistakes might not even help.
It’s better to focus on what you can do now as a parent. Be ready to act in the moment, like with objections or filing new motions when necessary. You’ll be more effective if you’re proactive about future issues instead of constantly going back to past problems.
I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve been advocating for parents for years and handling my own case for over a decade. I’ve learned that the best strategy is to keep moving forward and not get bogged down trying to fix every single past mistake. Just my two cents.
@Valen
Long comment, but absolutely right. Courts don’t care much about lies unless they really affect the case. My kid’s mom once lied about medical expenses in court, even after I proved she had the receipts, and the judge did nothing.
If not, there’s a saying about self-representation that goes: ‘Only a fool represents themselves.’ It’s hard to be impartial when you’re personally involved, and that can affect how you see things.
Judges don’t have to tell you what you could have done differently during the case—that’s up to you or your lawyer. I know you’re frustrated, but going after everyone (the GAL, judge, ex) might just hurt you in the long run. You’ll likely end up with a much better outcome if you focus on moving forward, maybe with an amended custody order instead of trying to void the whole thing.
I get that you’re frustrated, but trying to take down the other parent, their lawyer, the GAL, and the judge is too much. This could make you look bad in court. Courts rarely overturn previous rulings unless there’s overwhelming evidence.
And honestly, bringing up your ex’s finances might not be helpful unless he’s actually going to jail. Focus on what’s best for the kids and build your case around being a stable and reliable parent.
@Sayer
Sometimes ‘lies’ just mean different perspectives. Courts don’t usually dig into every conflicting statement, especially if it doesn’t change the case outcome.
For instance, if the ex says he has the kids three nights a week but his parents are picking them up, that might feel deceptive to you, but courts generally see it as normal to involve family for support. This isn’t considered a breach.
The court’s focus is on the kids’ best interests, so it’s worth being clear about what they really care about.
Stay focused on the facts that directly impact the kids. Muddying things up might not help, and it’s often more of a defensive move than an offensive one.
Family court feels broken, maybe even more than the public school system.
