I get what you’re trying to say. You’re being downvoted because it’s a bit tone-deaf and completely crass; there’s certainly a different way to phrase it. But I get the sentiment. Having come from a broken home myself, I know how hard it can be.
However, you really don’t know the ins and outs, the mental capacity, or maturity of the children, or really anything.
Your comment is a bit myopic and misguided. Hence the downvotes.
@Dorian
It’s even sadder that some people who shouldn’t be parents end up having kids and end up damaging us like this.
@Dorian
I’m not too concerned about the downvotes; I’m just sharing a truth. Coming from a broken family affects us in ways that can’t be ignored. No matter what people say, we aren’t like other children. Our experiences shape us, and sometimes the choices we make aren’t the best because of what we’ve been through. It’s sad, but it’s the reality.
Could you petition the court that you have legitimate concerns he may have a criminal record or similar because he wouldn’t provide a last name.
Did you remind her of your custody rights?
Your poor daughter… and you!
I’m so happy you already have a custody plan in place, and I’m assuming it’s through court, so if she doesn’t follow, she’s in contempt?
She can’t just take your daughter with her; she knows that, yeah? I have a feeling this will get shut down very fast once she realizes they’re favoring you over her. Can’t just do whatever you want when you have kids with zero consequences!!
Talk to your ex. Ask her what her plans are for maintaining your current custody order with your daughter.
NAL, just a dad.
Did you try to introduce yourself to her new husband? Get his name? Look him up on Facebook?
Micah said:
NAL, just a dad.
Did you try to introduce yourself to her new husband? Get his name? Look him up on Facebook?
I did, introduced myself after the practice. He didn’t give me a last name when I asked.
@Michelle
I’d be concerned he might be a sex offender. Yes, I had a friend that started seeing one of those. I encouraged her then to not let their girls go with her until a judge said he had to let them. She is, of course, an ex-friend now. Ugh.
@Michelle
You could text your ex and point blank ask, “What is your new last name going to be?”
Valen said:
@Michelle
You could text your ex and point blank ask, “What is your new last name going to be?”
No, don’t do that.
Valen said:
@Michelle
You could text your ex and point blank ask, “What is your new last name going to be?”
No, don’t do that.
There’s nothing to be lost by asking that question and much to be gained. Especially if it’s in some legally recordable medium which will show obvious intent to flee with their child if she does not answer it.
Valen said:
@Michelle
You could text your ex and point blank ask, “What is your new last name going to be?”
No, don’t do that.
Doesn’t their daughter have a right to know her new stepfather’s own last name?
@Valen
Sure, the daughter does. In a legal setting, the relationship the mother has with the new husband is her relationship. As is the relationship the daughter has with the new legal stepdad (this doesn’t mean he has any rights at all). It is not the biological father’s right to know anything at all that happens unless it concerns the child. The man’s last name has nothing to do with the daughter. Could be seen as high conflict if it gets messy.
@Cael
How does a person cohabitating with the child not concern the child? No court is going to allow a person living with a child to conceal their identity from a parent.
@Cael
In a legal setting, so you think the Father should have to take the mother back to court to ask for her new last name?
Valen said:
@Cael
In a legal setting, so you think the Father should have to take the mother back to court to ask for her new last name?
No, I think the father should be there for his child and support her feelings. The new husband’s last name isn’t legally required to be a part of anything. The father here, who asked the question, should focus on his kid.
@Cael
He is focused on his kid. He wants to know if the strange man that she is now living with is safe. He wants to know basic info about them. He doesn’t care about the dude his ex is with; he cares about the dude his child is living with. He wants to know the most basic information. The idea that it shouldn’t concern him is insane.
If they had time for the child to get to know him first and took it slow, you would be correct. But moving in and marrying a random dude that the child doesn’t know is concerning. Suddenly living with a strange man you’ve never seen in your life is going to be uncomfortable and potentially traumatic for a child. Especially upon hearing this strange dude intends for you and your mother to leave and move with him to a new place and they won’t even tell you where.
Any parent not seeing the red flags or caring about this isn’t doing their job.
@Harley
Unless the mother has previous encounters where she’s been unsafe. Assuming that she’s going to marry someone that’s unsafe is considered high conflict. Of all the court cases I have sat and witnessed for custody, that is how it’s always been. The courts are adopting more of a parallel parenting type of situation. Where you do you and she does her. And as long as the child is safe, there is no problem. Needing to know the dad’s last name is more of a control factor and will look high conflict.