Hey …My ex left a cushy sales gig about 6-8 months ago for a new sales role with a younger, less established tech company. When I asked him for his contract to check out the compensation details, he claimed he has no legal obligation to share it. He insists his base salary and commission structure are about the same as his last job, but honestly, I can’t believe he’d make such a risky move for the same pay, especially since it involves constant travel and seems way less secure with worse benefits.
Here’s where it gets tricky: my child support is based on his base salary plus a percentage of his monthly commission. He’s supposed to send me his paycheck each month, and then he has 30 days to pay the commission part, which fluctuates. This setup means I’m constantly asking him for money—sometimes daily—coz his base salary doesn’t even cover my rent. It’s made the financial situation super chaotic, with both of us tracking around 30-40 payments a month.
I can’t shake the feeling that he prefers this chaotic situation for control and power. We technically share joint custody, but I want more time with our kids, especially since he often asks me to take them when he travels for work or with his new wife—around 60 days a year. The kids, aged 6 and 9, struggle with separation anxiety every time they have to go to their dad’s, which has been tough for them for the last four years.
Here are my questions:
Is he legally obligated to share his new job compensation structure with me?
Do you think he’s really pulling a fast one on me, or would he have negotiated for more equity or stock if that were an option? I can’t wrap my head around why he’d leave a solid job for something that seems like more work and less security for the same pay.
Child support isn’t meant to cover all your rent. It’s there to help support the kids. Focus on finding a job first, then look at your year-end pay to see if you got the right amount of money.
Why isn’t the state or his HR taking care of this? You need to get a court order so the payments go through the state. Then, his HR will send your portion from his pay to the state, and the state will send it to you.
Your kids are in school, right? Are you working? It sounds rough for your ex that his commissions are being tracked by you every month just so you can take more money.
I’m lucky my co-parent doesn’t see my hard work in sales as a way to grab more cash. Plus, you and your kids wanting more time together? They’re not old enough to make that choice, and it kinda sounds like parent alienation to me.
You need to focus on putting the kids first and moving on for your ex instead of going back to lawyers and courts. And seriously, if you’re not already, GET A JOB!!!
Thank you for saying that…I was thinking the same thing. Why is she so focused on the money? Both parents should pitch in to support their kids. And you’re absolutely right about the parental alienation. Saying the kids want more time with her instead of promoting equal time with both parents is pretty unfair. She calls him a narcissist but has that total victim mentality. It’s full of red flags…
Absolutely… When most of your income comes from commissions, it’s totally reasonable for that to be factored into child support. It’s part of your overall earnings, and it helps ensure that the kids get the support they need.