My ex-spouse was charged with domestic violence, and now there’s a no-contact order in place. We have a written agreement on the times for picking up and dropping off our kids. His mom is acting as the third party right now for these exchanges. Yesterday, my firstborn was supposed to be dropped off at 5:30 pm, but they said they couldn’t do it, without giving a reason. I was told she’d be dropped off today, but now I’m only getting a FaceTime call where my daughter (she’s 3) says she’s too tired and doesn’t want to come to me. His mom said she’ll drop her off tomorrow morning but hasn’t given a specific time. My lawyer is filing a custody order next week, so there’s no official custody order yet. Will this behavior hurt him in court? I haven’t seen my daughter for four days, and I have text and video evidence of what they’re doing to keep her from me. I’ve always picked up and dropped off the kids on time.
I’m sorry to hear you’re having these issues. Just to clarify, the written agreement hasn’t been filed with the court yet, correct?
That’s right. On Tuesday, my lawyer is filing for an emergency temporary custody order. I’m asking for sole custody because he’s always late for drop-offs, and now he’s using our 3-year-old by claiming she’s too tired or doesn’t want to come on the days we agreed she would be with me.
Can this evidence be used against him in court, along with the domestic violence charges? It seems like he’s trying to alienate my daughter from me.
It’s not exactly alienation unless you can show proof they’re speaking badly about you to the child. However, this is evidence that he and his family might not be trusted to follow agreements, and the judge could rule that his mom shouldn’t be the third-party in charge of pickups and drop-offs.
I understand. If I get my daughter tomorrow, should I stick to the written agreement for the rest of the week until the custody order is in place? Would that show the judge that I’m following the agreement?
Yes, you should stick to the agreement as it shows the court that you’re reliable.
He’s also been scheduling medical, dental, and eye appointments for our daughters without telling me. Before the no-contact order, I was always the one making those appointments. He’s even signing our oldest up for activities without informing me. Can I bring this up in court?
Yes, you can bring this up. While it shows that he’s not willing to cooperate, he might argue that he wasn’t able to contact you due to the no-contact order.
He is allowed to contact me about the children through his mom or sister, as per the order.
If that’s stated in the court order, then yes, this could be used as evidence at your hearing.
Thanks so much for the advice!
Welcome and all the best