Hi everyone, I’m in a really tough situation and could use some advice. I recently went through a divorce in 2024, and my ex-wife moved out at the end of April. I forgot to change the wireless password on our baby monitor, which led to her secretly recording me in my child’s room. Apparently, she had control of the monitor and could pivot it to see into the kitchen and living room. On May 5, I went out with a coworker, Beth, and we ended up back at my place. My ex-wife recorded us in the kitchen for several hours, including moments of intimacy. This has made things really complicated since we all work as nurses at the same hospital, just in different units. She has been showing the video to her coworkers and even her manager, which is incredibly distressing. To make it worse, she has had her friends file complaints with my manager and HR about me being inappropriate with Beth. Thankfully, those complaints were dismissed because they took place outside of work. However, my ex-wife continues to have her friends post derogatory comments on Beth’s social media, calling her a ‘home-wrecking whore’ and similar names. There have also been threats and name-calling directed at both of us. My original plan was to lay low and let the situation die down, but I’ve been hearing that she’s still showing the video to coworkers even after six months. I really need to know what steps I can take to make her stop. Should I get a lawyer to issue a cease and desist? I don’t have physical proof of the video, only her and her friends talking about it.
She actually showed her manager what amounts to revenge porn and wasn’t immediately fired? That’s shocking.
Yeah, her manager has even tried to harass me at work. She called me at home once to question my patient charting while my own manager was off. I’m not sure if the video has been posted online.
Oli said:
Yeah, her manager has even tried to harass me at work. She called me at home once to question my patient charting while my own manager was off. I’m not sure if the video has been posted online.
Does her manager really have a legitimate need to access patient charts? That seems like it could raise HIPAA concerns.
Oli said:
Yeah, her manager has even tried to harass me at work. She called me at home once to question my patient charting while my own manager was off. I’m not sure if the video has been posted online.
My own manager looked into it, but it was eventually put on the back burner. After that one incident, her manager stopped harassing me, so I thought it was best just to let things cool down.
This is illegal. You really need to call the police about this situation.
Kai said:
This is illegal. You really need to call the police about this situation.
Does it matter that her name was still on the mortgage/deed at the time? I’m just worried because I don’t have solid proof of what she has on the video.
@Oli
No, it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t live there anymore. Taking and sharing videos of people in intimate moments without their consent is illegal. Please go to the police and report this.
Yes, intentionally recording someone when you’re not a participant in the conversation breaks several laws in Colorado. You need to call the police right away.
You should definitely involve the police and HR immediately. Your lawyer should have informed you about this. Not only should your ex-wife be held accountable, but also her manager and anyone who has viewed the video at work would likely face serious consequences.
This is classic sexual harassment. You and Beth should go to HR together to report this behavior.
You definitely need to get a lawyer. A cease and desist letter could be effective in this case. What she’s doing could be considered harassment and even stalking. Start gathering any evidence you can.
Do you need a lawyer for this? It sounds like a good idea to get one involved. But definitely call the police too.