I am not sure where to start but I guess I am looking for advice on what my next steps could be. Here goes…
My ex wife and I divorced in 2019. Our original court papers are based in Texas. She does have primary custody but I have the kids a LOT extra. I moved to Texas in late 2019, still driving the 2 hours to see my kids 3 nights a week and exercising my 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend visitation + holidays. In 2020, my ex wife moved up here just a few miles from me in Oklahoma. My kids are 17, 14, 12, and 9. They are stable here. She continues to threaten to move back to Texas because she says she hates it here. She can’t keep friends, she is toxic, she has bounced job to job, man to man, she just had another divorce and she does not get along with my new wife at all. My ex is absolutely insufferable. The boys DO NOT want to move back to Texas but she insists that their lives will be better 3 hours away in North Texas. If they WANTED to move I wouldn’t care, I would support what makes them happy. Since our papers and divorce were finalized in Texas and we are now in Oklahoma, what options do I have? I told her I wouldn’t let the kids go to Texas without a fight but she now says she is leaving at Christmas. She has suggested giving me the kids full time on several occasions but never follows through. I am so sick of this crap. Should I lawyer up and go for full custody? Can I stop the kids from moving with her? She can’t afford a lawyer and she says if we go to court she will represent herself. Thank you, ahead of time.
I think you need to move the case to Oklahoma, ASAP. I was divorced a million years ago and had a 4 year old. The ex kept talking about moving across town, across the country, and fully planned to take the child (they believed no rules applied to them). Ultimately I just said that the State of (Blank) might have something to say about it, and they stopped making the threats. They moved, but not with the child.
Whether or not you can stop her depends on how long they’ve lived in Oklahoma and if there was anything official giving her permission to move in the first place. If she never had formal permission to leave and hasn’t been in Oklahoma long, she could make a case for keeping the case in Texas. You can file for emergency custody but you’ll have to have an emergency to do so. Are the men abusive? Are your children unsafe? Do you believe she’s going to kidnap the children? The kids not wanting to move isn’t an emergency. Her returning to the state of origin also isn’t an emergency unless you have something formal discussing her move to Oklahoma. Did you get court permission to move to Oklahoma?
Lawyer stat. I had a rather opposite situation. My son’s dad did nothing for him. My family was my support. Mom & dad retired and moved. Brother & SIL decided to also move. I had to get a lawyer and court order but got it done.
Your current custody order is in Texas so the current venue for the custody case is in the county that you finalized your divorce in. Oklahoma residency requirements for family law cases is six months which you more than meet. You will need to hire an Oklahoma attorney experienced with UCCJEA cases (custody disputes in multiple states). The attorney may elect to file a motion in Oklahoma to enter a foreign order to ask Oklahoma to accept the transfer of the out-of-state order. This may require a declaration from you about the children’s residency as well as supporting documents showing proof (like school enrollment records, immunization/pediatrician records, etc.). With that motion, the attorney may also file a motion to modify the order to update your custody agreement and update any provisions about distance in which the parties can move from each other.
The original court still has jurisdiction. You can file a motion to modify custody using her move as the basis. A court may decide to change primary custody; they may not. But I don’t see a case to prevent mom from moving simply because she’s moved multiple times and you’ve never had an issue with it before. You’re dealing with jurisdiction issues for a court order that hasn’t really been followed properly for years. You are firmly in lawyer territory here. They can approach this from the best direction. Going to court and trying to prevent mom from moving back to the area that has jurisdiction wouldn’t be the strongest case. Judges can be territorial in north Texas. Not all, but many.
Get a lawyer, file now for an emergency hearing to keep the kids in OK and ask to have the agreement moved to OK. Then get a new official agreement. Once she moves them, it will be hard to get them back.