Hi all,
I’m reaching out because my fiancé (40M) and I (35F) are in a really tough spot, and we’re looking for some advice on how to handle this complicated situation.
Recently, we discovered that my fiancé is the father of a 4-year-old child. The child was born in August 2020, conceived during a fling he had back in November/December 2019—well before we started dating.
We got engaged on March 25th this year, and just four days later, on March 29th, the woman filed for Medicaid for the child, prompting the state of Florida to serve my fiancé with paternity and child support documents. This was a total shock, as she never reached out to him during her pregnancy or over the past 4+ years of the child’s life.
Since then, we’ve been dealing with non-stop drama. My fiancé sought legal representation, and his lawyer filed motions to dismiss or abate the case due to the lack of a paternity test and missing documents in her paperwork. However, we recently received court-ordered paternity test results confirming he is the father, and there’s a hearing scheduled in six weeks.
But this is where the whole thing gets complicated:
This woman has been causing us a lot of distress. She’s been constantly contacting us with demands and threats, stalking my social media profiles (even my professional accounts), and reaching out to mutual acquaintances trying to get to us. She’s also contacted my fiancé’s friends and coworkers, sharing details of the case and threatening to ruin his life. On top of that, she’s driven by our house multiple times, and who knows what else she’s done that we’re unaware of.
For some background: My fiancé ended things with her quickly because of several red flags. She would show up at his house uninvited, go through his phone without permission (even sending things to herself), and she stole cash and valuables from his home. None of this was reported to the police because he made a deal with her to leave him alone, which she honored—until now.
We’re genuinely concerned about what she might do, especially now that paternity has been established. While we feel for the child (who is the most affected by this), we’re worried about having any relationship with them due to the mother’s high-conflict, unstable, and potentially dangerous behavior.