Hey, I’m a 19M, and I filed for visitation rights 7 weeks ago because I’ve been struggling to see my son (5 months old). It’s gotten so bad that yesterday, on Thanksgiving, I wasn’t allowed to see him—even though the other side of his family doesn’t even celebrate the holiday. His mom and I aren’t together, and she’s been saying, ‘You can’t see him unless I’m there.’ I’ve heard that’s illegal since my name’s on the birth certificate. I’m getting really nervous because I haven’t heard anything back from the court yet. Is this normal? Any advice?
Dude, this sounds rough. Have you checked if you served her after filing? Without that step, nothing might move forward.
Zhi said:
Dude, this sounds rough. Have you checked if you served her after filing? Without that step, nothing might move forward.
Wait, what do you mean by ‘served her’? I filed paperwork with the court, but I didn’t know I had to do something else.
@Finley
Yeah, filing isn’t enough. You gotta send her the papers, usually via certified mail, and provide proof of service to the court.
FYI, in New York, the court doesn’t move until they get proof of service. Did you get your filing copies back from the court yet?
Chandler said:
FYI, in New York, the court doesn’t move until they get proof of service. Did you get your filing copies back from the court yet?
Nope, I just filed them. Is that why I haven’t heard anything? I thought the court would notify her automatically.
@Finley
Yeah, that’s the holdup. The court gives you the papers to serve her, and you need to send them and show proof. It’s a process, but it’s the next step.
You should definitely ask for a temporary visitation order. Judges can usually grant one until the case is finalized.
Leith said:
You should definitely ask for a temporary visitation order. Judges can usually grant one until the case is finalized.
Good idea! Do I need a lawyer for that, or can I ask for it on my own?
@Finley
You can ask on your own, but honestly, a family lawyer would make it smoother. They know how to get things moving.
Man, this sucks. Just keep calm and avoid fighting with your ex. Courts like when parents act chill and cooperative.
Tait said:
Man, this sucks. Just keep calm and avoid fighting with your ex. Courts like when parents act chill and cooperative.
I’m trying, but it’s hard when she’s making me feel like a backup parent. Any tips on keeping things civil?
@Finley
Stick to text-only communication. Keep it about your son—no arguments or emotional stuff. Courts love seeing that.
Did you include ‘right of first refusal’ in your filing? It’s a good clause to ask for in custody cases.
Kirby said:
Did you include ‘right of first refusal’ in your filing? It’s a good clause to ask for in custody cases.
What’s that mean? Sorry, new to all this.
Kirby said:
Did you include ‘right of first refusal’ in your filing? It’s a good clause to ask for in custody cases.
What’s that mean? Sorry, new to all this.
It means if she can’t watch the kid, you get the first chance to step in before she asks anyone else.