So I’m currently in the process of submitting the divorce papers. I’m stationed on the East Coast, but my kids are in California. The mother is asking me to give her full legal custody of them. Should I do it since I know she’ll have full physical custody of the kids since they live with her and I’m in a different state?
If you’re active duty military, ask your chain of command for a referral to base legal; they can help you navigate these issues.
I would give her full legal custody so she can make medical decisions in emergencies. It doesn’t benefit you, and it hinders her and the children.
Gray said:
I would give her full legal custody so she can make medical decisions in emergencies. It doesn’t benefit you, and it hinders her and the children.
I see. Thank you.
There are ways to accomplish that without signing over full legal custody.
If you aren’t involved in decisions for education, healthcare, etc., you may not need legal custody. Usually, if you have full physical custody, you make most of those decisions daily.
Charlie said:
If you aren’t involved in decisions for education, healthcare, etc., you may not need legal custody. Usually, if you have full physical custody, you make most of those decisions daily.
I’m just trying not to screw myself. She’s usually the one making those decisions. Does having full custody mean I pay more child support?
You don’t pay more child support because of that. It just allows her to make important decisions.
Gray said:
You don’t pay more child support because of that. It just allows her to make important decisions.
You covering health insurance can factor into the child support formula. They use a standard formula based on physical custody, not legal custody.
You need to retain as much custody as you can.
If you’re planning on having a relationship with your children, then no, don’t give up custody.
Scout said:
If you’re planning on having a relationship with your children, then no, don’t give up custody.
Yes, that’s the plan. I usually see them when I visit California.
Never voluntarily give up custody unless you know you’d have a detrimental effect on their development. There’s a huge difference between legal and physical custody.
Perrin said:
Never voluntarily give up custody unless you know you’d have a detrimental effect on their development. There’s a huge difference between legal and physical custody.
Thank you. Good to know.
You can still ask for joint legal custody. Can you get family nearby? A judge may allow visitation with them even if you’re deployed.
Masitsa said:
You can still ask for joint legal custody. Can you get family nearby? A judge may allow visitation with them even if you’re deployed.
I don’t have any family in California.
Do you know the difference in custody terms like full, sole, and joint custody? Are you willing to give up all rights, including visitation?
Joss said:
Do you know the difference in custody terms like full, sole, and joint custody? Are you willing to give up all rights, including visitation?
No, I don’t know the difference. I don’t want to give up all rights. She says I’ll still have visitation rights.
You need your own lawyer and stop relying on your ex-wife’s legal advice. If you can’t get them for school, try for summers and vacations.
Penn said:
You need your own lawyer and stop relying on your ex-wife’s legal advice. If you can’t get them for school, try for summers and vacations.
Thank you for the advice.