Hi all- me again. If you didn’t catch my first ridiculous post here, feel free to read it on my profile.
My soon to be ex and I have our temporary hearing in March.
We separated January 2023. He announced he was leaving our marriage October 2023. He moved out December 2023. I kept my rental home and moved the lease to my name only.
He suddenly wants furniture he left behind that “he paid for before we were married”- a couch, a kitchen table, a kind sized mattress. He doesnt want the items, just “retail price” for them all, after leaving them for 14 months.
He also abandoned his cat.
I paid bills that were in his name to help him out when he first left, but can no longer afford to do so, as my budget drastically changed a few months ago. He is harassing me to no end regarding a bill in his name I will no longer pay. Nothing is signed as an agreement that I was to pay the bill.
I have paid every cent toward daycare for 16 months.
He has not paid any child support. We have an 80/20 custody split, if that.
What can he legally do? The harassment makes me want to file a restraining order.
Did you file for child support? Stop paying his bills and u less you are court ordered do not pay him anything. Do not talk to him about anything but your child and do so only in writing
Chen said:
Did you file for child support? Stop paying his bills and u less you are court ordered do not pay him anything. Do not talk to him about anything but your child and do so only in writing
I did file, yes. I was happy to do so. I hope they process it quickly
He is hoping that you will give him cash - you have a hearing in March. Tell him to have his attorney bring it up in March. At that time I would make sure that your attorney has the cost down to the penny of what bills you have helped him with. I would also have the cost of daycare as well as everything else you have spent money on for your child. The fact that he hasn’t paid any money towards maintenance is appalling and I am not giving him a thing from the home until that happens.
You have a lawyer - you can request that he only communicate with you regarding the shared child and direct any communication about the divorce to your attorney.
You can arrange the settings on your phone so he is on do not disturb unless he has the child because none of it requires an immediate response.
You can work on not responding emotionally to his ridiculous demands.
That is, you can’t magically make him stop, but you can manage it.
All right. So, first, personal possessions in family law are generally valued at resale value: what you would get for the item on something like Facebook Marketplace.
Second, get the man on child support already and stop paying his bills. He’s pushing you around, stop letting him.
What are his children supposed to sit on? A couch and the chairs. Stop giving him money or paying his bills. I hope you have a lawyer and get your divorce finished up. Make sure your credit and the children’s credit are locked so he can’t put you in further debt. Contact Office of Support Enforcement in your state and start having him pay his fair share for his children.
None of this sounds like it would qualify for a restraining order.
Tell him to speak to your attorney. If you don’t have an attorney, tell him asset and debt division will happen at the March hearing.
If you aren’t already, enroll with the state for child support enforcement. They’ll start garnishing his paycheck and utilizing other enforcement measures.
@Laken
What do I do in the case where he is self-employed and his income can be fudged easily? I’m not sure how to fill out the employment part for him. What does the state do in that case?
Ash said: @Laken
What do I do in the case where he is self-employed and his income can be fudged easily? I’m not sure how to fill out the employment part for him. What does the state do in that case?
Nothing. Your cooked. He can pay himself a poor wage and you get to go by that. The business is a separate entity. That’s one way the B judges lose out on scams and cons.
Ash said: @Laken
What do I do in the case where he is self-employed and his income can be fudged easily? I’m not sure how to fill out the employment part for him. What does the state do in that case?
He still has to make the payments. If it can’t be garnished and he isn’t paying, then they take other enforcement actions like: suspend his license, credit bureau reporting, vehicle liens, tax refund intercept, bank account intercept, passport denial
what does your lawyer say? please tell me you have a lawyer. bills in his name, never ever pay them. Document everything. you do not owe him money for furniture, however give him a formal notice that he has 30 days from date to come get them or they are considered abandoned. Change your locks.
Edit: NaL, just married to one. Deal with this from my job as a counselor often
@Omar
I do indeed have a lawyer. Lawyer said all of this as well. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance from the general public that I’m not overreacting.