The father of my children and I are not married. He is on the birth certificate for both kids. He recently got a lawyer and filed for parentage. On the form, it says he wants physical custody, and I would only have visitation rights. He says that was not his intention and that it was a mistake. How do we correct this? What should I do now?
Also, I make more money than he does. Since we’re not married, could he ask for child support from me?
Get a lawyer as soon as possible!
On the form it says he wants physical custody and I have visitation rights. He says that is not what he meant and it is a mistake.
The papers say what they say. You need to address it.
On the form it says he wants physical custody and I have visitation rights. He says that is not what he meant and it is a mistake.
The papers say what they say. You need to address it.
Here’s the confusing part. How can he ask for full physical custody but still want to live in my house?
@Ozzy
He would be the custodial parent, and that makes a difference for support, medical decisions, residency, etc. if there’s no court order defining those.
There’s a Child Support calculator online that you can use to estimate both situations. As for his finances, it’s unlikely the court will order a detailed investigation into them, so keep that in mind.
@Ozzy
You changed the post to leave out the part where he wants to move out but is afraid you’ll block him from seeing the kids. Why leave that out?
Leighton said:
@Ozzy
You changed the post to leave out the part where he wants to move out but is afraid you’ll block him from seeing the kids. Why leave that out?
Interesting. I was about to say it looks like he does want to move out.
The best advice you’ll get here is this: don’t take legal advice from someone who might be against you. If the paperwork was incorrect, that can be fixed, but the important thing is that he filed at all. You need to figure out your response, which means getting your own lawyer. If you and he can agree on what you both want, you could save a lot of legal fees, but still have your lawyer draft or at least review the paperwork.
It’s common here to see parents who haven’t been involved for a long time suddenly file for full custody and support. Courts are used to these ‘ask for everything’ tactics and work towards a realistic outcome. Talk to him to see what he’s aiming for, but also get your own lawyer.
You need your own lawyer immediately. The moment he got a lawyer and filed for custody without talking to you first, he became your opponent in this. You can’t trust what he says anymore since he’s already gone behind your back to file for custody.
Find a good family lawyer quickly. You’re already behind, and you need to catch up. We can’t help much here other than telling you to get that attorney ASAP.
It’s not a mistake. He probably wants equal or maybe even primary custody, and that’s pretty normal. You probably want the same thing. Let the courts sort it out.
Get a lawyer! He’s trying to get child support from you by getting physical custody. This isn’t a mistake; he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Tory said:
Get a lawyer! He’s trying to get child support from you by getting physical custody. This isn’t a mistake; he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Child support is for the child’s needs, not the parent’s.
@Leighton
I know, but sometimes people use it to get money, and it doesn’t always go to the child.
Tory said:
@Leighton
I know, but sometimes people use it to get money, and it doesn’t always go to the child.
Did you read the post and comments? You might want to do that first.
Tory said:
Get a lawyer! He’s trying to get child support from you by getting physical custody. This isn’t a mistake; he knows exactly what he’s doing.
If he has the child most of the time or if you earn much more than him, then he may be entitled to support.
@Zephyr
That’s why he filed for physical custody.
Please avoid giving unhelpful comments. We are here to offer positive and useful advice.
You almost sounded reasonable, but then you added that last part and ruined it.
It’s a bit unclear – did you two break up and are discussing custody, or are you still together, and he just went ahead and hired a lawyer?
Gerald said:
It’s a bit unclear – did you two break up and are discussing custody, or are you still together, and he just went ahead and hired a lawyer?
We’ve been co-parenting for a year, and he’s been living in my house. Lately, we haven’t been getting along, and he’s worried he’ll lose his rights if he moves out. The thing is, I’d let him see the kids, so I think it was pretty low of him to go behind my back and hire a lawyer. He keeps saying he doesn’t want full custody and wants the kids to stay in my house, but he hasn’t told his lawyer to change the papers.