Does pursuing full custody and relocation make sense in California?
California - Getting Full Custody & Moving Away
Custody and visitation
Dear r/FamilyLaw,
My questions for the community:
Is seeking full custody with relocation advisable, and what evidence would strengthen my case?
Should I respond to my ex’s court request with this motion, or do I need to file a separate request?
TL;DR: I currently share joint physical and legal custody of my 5-year-old son in San Diego, California. I am now married to a Canadian and have a 1.5-year-old son, while my husband has two young children in Ontario, Canada. I am considering filing for full custody and relocation and need advice and assistance.
Here’s the full story: My name is M, and I have a 5-year-old son, B, with my ex-husband, whom I’ll refer to as F. We divorced two years ago, and our court order mandates joint legal and physical custody with a 9-7-7-5 sharing schedule, resulting in a historical time share of 57-43%.
This summer, I married a Canadian and spent time with my son in Canada at my husband’s lake house, while F took B to France for two months. We have previously been flexible with our parenting plan, but this has recently changed dramatically.
My husband and I plan to relocate to Whistler, Canada, for the winter to homeschool B and facilitate exchanges with his children in Ontario and my son in California. I informed F of our plans six weeks in advance, but he did not respond, typical of our communication history. He mentioned it would benefit B and noted that he has new ski gear.
Upon returning to California in early October, communication seemed to improve until a scheduled exchange with F went awry. When I arrived to pick up B, F’s friend served me court papers, and F did not disclose their contents. B was not at F’s place, and when questioned, F was evasive about his whereabouts. I was misled and intended to collect my son.
The court papers indicate that F seeks full legal and physical custody of B, citing stability and school quality in his neighborhood as reasons.
Regarding F: He works full-time from home in a one-bedroom apartment and relies on me for arranging daycare and activities for B.
According to our court order, we must first attempt to resolve matters mutually, seek mediation if necessary, and resort to court only if all else fails. F skipped negotiation and mediation, filing directly for full custody.
We settled our divorce without lawyers, waiving child support when he lost his job. Since then, I have lost employment, had a child with my new husband, and F has secured a well-paying job without offering financial assistance.
Despite my efforts to cooperate, my trust in F has faltered due to his withholding of B, prompting my decision to pursue full custody.
Additionally, my retired parents, who provided care for B during F’s parenting time, are relocating to Florida, limiting their availability for support.
Finally, my husband must return to Canada, and I no longer have a residence in our agreed county. Therefore, I intend to file for full custody and relocation to Canada. My goal is not to exclude F from B’s life but to ensure decisions are made in B’s best interests. We have a home in Canada and plans to continue B’s homeschooling there.
While our winter plans for Whistler may be postponed, uniting all our children and establishing a Canadian home are paramount.
It’s worth noting that F has no ties to Southern California beyond B and has expressed discontent with the region, preferring to return to France.
My questions for the community:
Does seeking full custody with relocation make sense?
Should I respond to his court request with this motion, or do I need to file a separate request?