How can one obtain full custody and move away in California?

Does pursuing full custody and relocation make sense in California?

California - Getting Full Custody & Moving Away

Custody and visitation

Dear r/FamilyLaw,

My questions for the community:

Is seeking full custody with relocation advisable, and what evidence would strengthen my case?

Should I respond to my ex’s court request with this motion, or do I need to file a separate request?

TL;DR: I currently share joint physical and legal custody of my 5-year-old son in San Diego, California. I am now married to a Canadian and have a 1.5-year-old son, while my husband has two young children in Ontario, Canada. I am considering filing for full custody and relocation and need advice and assistance.

Here’s the full story: My name is M, and I have a 5-year-old son, B, with my ex-husband, whom I’ll refer to as F. We divorced two years ago, and our court order mandates joint legal and physical custody with a 9-7-7-5 sharing schedule, resulting in a historical time share of 57-43%.

This summer, I married a Canadian and spent time with my son in Canada at my husband’s lake house, while F took B to France for two months. We have previously been flexible with our parenting plan, but this has recently changed dramatically.

My husband and I plan to relocate to Whistler, Canada, for the winter to homeschool B and facilitate exchanges with his children in Ontario and my son in California. I informed F of our plans six weeks in advance, but he did not respond, typical of our communication history. He mentioned it would benefit B and noted that he has new ski gear.

Upon returning to California in early October, communication seemed to improve until a scheduled exchange with F went awry. When I arrived to pick up B, F’s friend served me court papers, and F did not disclose their contents. B was not at F’s place, and when questioned, F was evasive about his whereabouts. I was misled and intended to collect my son.

The court papers indicate that F seeks full legal and physical custody of B, citing stability and school quality in his neighborhood as reasons.

Regarding F: He works full-time from home in a one-bedroom apartment and relies on me for arranging daycare and activities for B.

According to our court order, we must first attempt to resolve matters mutually, seek mediation if necessary, and resort to court only if all else fails. F skipped negotiation and mediation, filing directly for full custody.

We settled our divorce without lawyers, waiving child support when he lost his job. Since then, I have lost employment, had a child with my new husband, and F has secured a well-paying job without offering financial assistance.

Despite my efforts to cooperate, my trust in F has faltered due to his withholding of B, prompting my decision to pursue full custody.

Additionally, my retired parents, who provided care for B during F’s parenting time, are relocating to Florida, limiting their availability for support.

Finally, my husband must return to Canada, and I no longer have a residence in our agreed county. Therefore, I intend to file for full custody and relocation to Canada. My goal is not to exclude F from B’s life but to ensure decisions are made in B’s best interests. We have a home in Canada and plans to continue B’s homeschooling there.

While our winter plans for Whistler may be postponed, uniting all our children and establishing a Canadian home are paramount.

It’s worth noting that F has no ties to Southern California beyond B and has expressed discontent with the region, preferring to return to France.

My questions for the community:

Does seeking full custody with relocation make sense?

Should I respond to his court request with this motion, or do I need to file a separate request?

2 Likes

Speaking from experience.

Establishing distance between a parent and child is a complex and lengthy process within the court system. You must have compelling reasons to justify relocating your child away from their father, as this move can significantly impact their bond. If your request to relocate is denied, you may be free to move yourself, but your child would likely need to remain with the other parent.

Regarding your divorce, did either of you include geographic restrictions? If so, these can complicate matters when seeking to relocate your child from their current residence.

It’s crucial to promptly request permission to move with your child, involving both the father and the court. If the father agrees, it simplifies the process; however, if he does not, the next step involves legal intervention.

You need substantial reasons to support your move, such as a better job opportunity, advanced education prospects, stability in the new location, improved schooling or activities for your child, etc. Ultimately, the key question is whether your child will benefit from enhanced development and opportunities away from the other parent.

Regarding the father’s request for full custody of your son, it seems unlikely the judge will grant this based on your significant caregiving role and support provided to your ex-husband. Collect and preserve all evidence and seek advice from a lawyer. Best of luck.

1 Like

Not a lawyer, but I’ve been a paralegal in Family Law for many years.

You really need to get an attorney because this process is going to be lengthy, costly, and contentious.

Respond to his legal documents and have your attorney file a concurrent Request for Order (RFO) for a move-away. I’ve worked with some excellent law firms in San Diego before. Feel free to message me if you’d like their contact information.

It’s crucial to emphasize: definitely respond to his request promptly. Don’t delay. You need to handle both aspects of this situation.