How Do Assets Work If We Live in Separate States (TN/FL)?

Hello y’all…

So, I married my husband in January, but I live in TN, and he’s in FL. We’ve kept our bank accounts separate. He promised he’d move to TN, but that hasn’t happened. He also said he was done with marijuana because it caused a lot of anger and health issues—his nieces can’t even be around him unsupervised because his sister thinks he could be dangerous. But yeah, he didn’t stick to that promise either.

We split up in September 2023, got back together at the end of December, and then got married in January 2024 after a bunch of therapy and church stuff, thinking he had changed. I know now that I shouldn’t have married him. I found out in July that I’m pregnant, and when I went to visit him in Florida a few weeks later, I found weed in his kitchen, game room, and work truck.

I want to get an annulment because he lied about major stuff that I wouldn’t have married him over if I knew he couldn’t follow through. But now I have so many questions because of the baby.

We’ve always had separate bank accounts, and I pay my bills while he pays his. He’s barely helped with any pregnancy-related expenses, but he is on my health insurance, which I pay for. I even bought a new car while married using my own money and credit—no cosigner.

So, will he be entitled to any of my assets?

If I have the baby in TN, am I gonna be forced to move to Florida and leave my job just so he can share custody? He said he wants me to have the baby in Florida so he can control everything.

I’ve started looking into family lawyers in my area, but I just want to know what to expect.

I’m a bit worried about posting this, but I really need answers, so I might take it down after I get some clarification. Thank ya.

I’m sorry, but there’s no way there was “a lot of therapy” in just a couple of months. “A lot of therapy” takes years, sometimes even decades. You kind of rushed into things.

It’s unlikely that either of you has built up any real assets during your marriage. You’ve got that new car, but I doubt there’s much, if any, equity in it. You probably couldn’t even sell it for what you owe since it’s so new.

Your assets should be fine, but now you need to figure out how to get any child support from him. Definitely talk all this over with your lawyer!

So, I got over $46k in Restricted Stock Units from my job back in April, and they’ll take around two years to fully vest. Plus, I’ve had about $30k in RSUs vest while we’ve been married, but I haven’t mentioned that to him.

I’m not worried about child support since I can handle all expenses on my own. Any child support I do get will just go straight into a college fund for the kid. What’s really got me stressed is that he and his mom—who’s a family law paralegal and his dealer—are gonna try to take my kid from me. He’s threatened me, saying, “I’ve got more money and more connections in the legal scene than you do.” He has zero idea what integrity means. I honestly believe he and his mom would totally lie under oath if it came down to it.

You need to be the plaintiff. File tomorrow morning.

Don’t move and definitely don’t have the baby in Florida. The court will have jurisdiction based on where you live. If you’re looking to get a divorce, file it in TN.

The sooner you get that divorce, the less stuff you’ll have to deal with that’s been accumulated during the marriage. Since you guys never lived together, you might be able to claim an early separation date. Definitely talk to a lawyer about this.

Have the baby in your state. If he wants custody, he’ll have to come to you and file for it once the baby is born. He might be too lazy to even bother.