How to Prove Financial Abuse When Never Married?

I’m in New Jersey with no custody or child support orders yet, though I plan to file soon. The father of my child (BD) wanted me to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) when I was 5 months pregnant but later changed the locks and fled the state. He has refused to contribute financially to our child’s needs aside from a few outfits, diapers, wipes, and random items like Tylenol and a toy.

He initially said he’d pay for insurance but hasn’t for 10 months. Now he’s demanding invoices and full receipts for reimbursement but still refuses to pay even when I provide clear screenshots of transactions showing baby-related expenses. He also refuses to send child support, claiming he won’t pay because he doesn’t see the child (despite not making time to see them).

Would this be considered financial abuse, or is he just a typical deadbeat? Any advice on how to handle this situation while waiting to file would be appreciated.

He’s nothing of that because you haven’t filed. Until you file and the court establishes a temporary support order, he’s not technically responsible for anything. He’s still a jerk, but he can’t be held in contempt for something that isn’t court-ordered. You need to file, like yesterday.

Yeah, I know. Unfortunately, I can’t file until January because of the 6-month residency rule since I moved states.

Any payments he makes before you file would likely be considered a ‘gift,’ which he probably knows. The court might not care about his lack of contributions before a support order is in place. Keep good records of all your expenses and include them in your paperwork to seek reimbursement.

@Hartley
Would that still apply if we weren’t married?

San said:
@Hartley
Would that still apply if we weren’t married?

They’d likely need to establish paternity first, but yes.

Deadbeat. Go to court and get a child support order in place. Stop letting him run circles around you and do the one thing you can to make him support his child.