International custody (NJ) Ex is accusing me of kidnapping my own child... help

Hi everyone, sorry this is long but I need advice. My ex is accusing me of kidnapping my child. I moved to Costa Rica from NJ with my son 5 years ago, with my ex’s agreement, but now he’s making these claims. He even dropped us off at the airport. Things have been messy ever since. He’s ghosted our son multiple times and hasn’t provided any financial support. I’m trying to get full custody and renew my son’s passport, but I’ve been told I have to go back to NJ to fight custody. Is there any way to handle this from Costa Rica? Can he really accuse me of kidnapping when he knew the plan? Any advice is appreciated. I’m trying to avoid dragging my son through all this.

You should definitely talk to an international family lawyer. There are lawyers who specialize in these cases. They’ll know how to handle custody across borders, especially between the US and Costa Rica.

@LucasThompson3
Thank you! I’ve been looking but it’s been hard to find someone with the right experience. I’ll keep trying.

North said:
@LucasThompson3
Thank you! I’ve been looking but it’s been hard to find someone with the right experience. I’ll keep trying.

Good luck! Just make sure you gather all your documentation—texts, emails, anything showing that he agreed to the move and hasn’t been involved. It’ll help your case.

It’s super important to get a lawyer in both Costa Rica and NJ. You’re probably right that you didn’t kidnap your child, especially if he agreed to the move and hasn’t been involved. But you want to make sure everything is official, especially for your son’s passport.

@Tristan
Thanks, yeah I’m working on getting full custody here in Costa Rica. My lawyer here says he has no rights to the child, but I’m still worried about how it plays out in the US.

North said:
@Tristan
Thanks, yeah I’m working on getting full custody here in Costa Rica. My lawyer here says he has no rights to the child, but I’m still worried about how it plays out in the US.

As long as you establish legal residency and custody in Costa Rica, it should strengthen your case. Having everything on paper will help in case he tries anything in the future.

I don’t think he can claim kidnapping if he willingly dropped you off at the airport and you’ve been in Costa Rica for years. Document everything! His ghosting, lack of financial support, the move—those will all help in court if he tries to cause problems.

@Shan
Exactly what I was thinking. I’ve kept records of all his disappearances and lack of support. I’m hoping it’ll work in my favor.

North said:
@Shan
Exactly what I was thinking. I’ve kept records of all his disappearances and lack of support. I’m hoping it’ll work in my favor.

It definitely will. You’ve done your part by being open about contact, and he hasn’t followed through. That’s going to be important if things go to court.

Have you tried going to the US embassy for the passport issue? They might be able to help, especially if you can show that he hasn’t been involved or provided support.

Riley said:
Have you tried going to the US embassy for the passport issue? They might be able to help, especially if you can show that he hasn’t been involved or provided support.

I haven’t yet but I will! I’m hoping that once I get full custody here, it’ll make things smoother with the passport process.

@North
That should help a lot! The embassy can guide you on the travel docs if you get the custody sorted. Good luck!

Honestly, it sounds like your ex is more focused on making you look bad than actually being a parent. If he really wanted to be involved, he wouldn’t have ghosted your son twice. I think you’re in the clear if you can get full custody in Costa Rica.

@Logan
Exactly. He’s more interested in telling people lies about me than actually being a father. I just want to move on and make sure my son is protected.

North said:
@Logan
Exactly. He’s more interested in telling people lies about me than actually being a father. I just want to move on and make sure my son is protected.

You’re doing the right thing! Focus on getting everything legally sorted, and you’ll have a much stronger case if he ever tries to come after custody.