I’m reaching out for some legal advice regarding a situation my sister recently faced. She has four children: a 16-year-old son (16m), a 13-year-old daughter (13f), a 13-year-old non-binary child (13nb), and a 7-year-old son (7m) who is autistic. We had a family emergency where my sister’s 13nb child ended up in the hospital.
Due to the circumstances, my sister had no one available to help her. Everyone she trusts—my mom, her boyfriend, and myself—had work commitments. With her being unable to leave the hospital, her 16-year-old had to stay home from school to care for the 13-year-old and the 7-year-old.
However, my sister was recently told by someone (she hasn’t specified who) that having a child stay home from school to watch younger siblings might be considered abuse. This has left her worried and confused. I know that in our state (Illinois), there are laws regarding leaving children home alone if they’re under 14, but since the oldest is 16, I would think that might not apply here.
I’m looking for clarification on whether this situation could be legally considered abuse or neglect. Are there any family law attorneys licensed in Illinois who could provide some insight?
It was an emergency, so the kid had to miss school. That’s not abuse or parentification. Seriously, people who are upset about the kid missing a day or two need to chill out.
If it’s a last-resort situation for a serious family emergency, an older sibling staying home from school for a couple of days isn’t gonna raise any flags with CPS, and it’s definitely not abuse or parentification. It only becomes an issue if the kid is regularly kept home to the point that it messes with their schoolwork or leads to truancy.
This was a major family emergency, and your sister really didn’t have any other choice. Sometimes you can’t get a sitter last minute, and family might not be able to step in either. In an emergency, it’s totally okay for him to take charge.
That said, your nephew really stepped up. If your sister feels any guilt about it, maybe she should consider rewarding him for being so awesome during a tough time. A little thank-you gift could go a long way…
If the 16-year-old is missing school regularly to care for his siblings, then that’s definitely a problem. But this sounds like a one-time family emergency, and it’s a great chance for him to step up and take on some adult responsibilities to help out his family.