My brother’s son is 6 months old. About a month after he was born, my brother broke up with his mother because she had cheated several times. Now, my brother is living with our parents while the mother lives with hers. Since the breakup, my brother has been told he’s not allowed to see his son and has been insulted constantly by the mother. When they do video chats, she insults him while the baby is right there.
He’s asked to see his son and take him home, but the mother refuses unless he gives her cash. He doesn’t want to just give her money but would rather buy things for the baby and drop them off. She doesn’t want that either.
After a DNA test confirmed he’s the father, the mother says the test isn’t valid. Now, she only lets him see his son if he sits on her porch with the baby, and she won’t let him inside. It’s winter, so my brother refuses to let his son sit outside in freezing temperatures.
The mother and her mom have been trying to convince my brother to give up his rights so her mother can take guardianship. They’ve even said his son doesn’t deserve his last name and want to change it. All of this happens in front of the baby. He’s been documenting everything. I’m wondering if this can be considered parental alienation and if he has a good case for custody.
He just wants 50/50 custody and to be able to coparent through the courts instead of dealing with the constant drama.
I think he needs to file for custody first and also worry about putting the mother on child support since she’s talking about giving the baby to her mom. My advice? Get a lawyer and fight for his son.
Cutting contact with the mother and just coparenting through the courts doesn’t really work like that. Even if there’s a lot of conflict, parents still have to communicate. He definitely needs a lawyer. As for parental alienation, it’s unlikely because the baby is still too young for an established relationship, so the courts wouldn’t really consider it.
If the mom wants to give up her rights, why isn’t he going for custody? If he has proof of everything happening, he should definitely be doing more to protect his child.
Ben said:
If the mom wants to give up her rights, why isn’t he going for custody? If he has proof of everything happening, he should definitely be doing more to protect his child.
He is! She asked him to give up his rights so she could give them to her mom. But he pointed out that she would also have to give up her rights for that to happen. She said she doesn’t mind giving up her rights because her mom will take care of the baby and she can still see him. This is something he’s planning to bring up in court, and I’m trying to get him to talk to a lawyer about it.
Your brother will have to pay child support, not just buy things. The mother is blocking visitation because he won’t pay, and both of them are wrong. They need to figure it out.
Terry said:
Your brother will have to pay child support, not just buy things. The mother is blocking visitation because he won’t pay, and both of them are wrong. They need to figure it out.
No, she started asking for cash only after she banned him from seeing his son. He had been providing items and cash without any issues until that point. After she banned him, he still brought items and gave her cash when he could, but then she started asking for cash instead of items. He asked why she needed it, and she refused to tell him. That’s when he decided to file for child support to make sure the money is fair and tracked in the court system.
This doesn’t really fit the legal idea of parental alienation. That’s usually when older children are told that one parent is bad or evil. A 6-month-old can’t be coached into hating the other parent. This sounds more like bad coparenting. It can be resolved with a court order about custody, visitation, and child support. If she doesn’t follow the order, a lawyer can help with a contempt charge.
@Dane
Thanks! I was wondering about that, because I know a guy in another state who got the mother for parental alienation of his infant, but in his case, she took the baby to another state and wouldn’t tell him where she was. He ended up getting a restraining order, but now that I’m thinking about it, it might have been more about parental kidnapping than alienation.
@Frost
Yeah, that’s more likely parental kidnapping and violating custody orders. Parental alienation isn’t really backed by solid science and has been used by some abusive parents to control the other parent. In rare cases, a parent might try to turn the child against the other parent, but often it’s a case of one parent being denied visitation, and that’s not the same as alienation.
Has he gone to court yet? Does he pay child support? A lot of guys just want to buy what the kid ‘needs’ and drop it off, but that’s not enough. The child needs more than just diapers. Your brother is an important part of his son’s life, and the system is meant to help him get access and help the mother get the financial support she needs. Both sides need to file for custody and child support, and it sounds like neither of them is willing to do that. You should probably stay out of it and let your brother handle things. But it would be good for you to build a relationship with your nephew.