My daughter has been living with me for about 9 months now, and during this time, she hasn’t seen her mother for about 7 months. Recently, my ex reached out wanting to talk to our daughter and has threatened to involve the police and take legal action against me if I don’t comply. Currently, we do not have any formal custody agreement in place.
My ex has admitted that she chose to separate herself from our daughter because she believed it was best for her own well-being. However, I am deeply concerned about her ability to provide a stable and safe environment. She has a documented history of alcohol abuse, has been physically abusive to me in front of our daughter and her own children (which I have evidence of), and has moved residences multiple times in the past year with different partners. She also has a recent DUI charge, and in a previous marriage, she lost custody of her other children, with her ex-husband being granted sole custody. Additionally, she has relinquished parental rights to another child through adoption.
My primary concern is the well-being and safety of my 3-year-old daughter. I am considering seeking sole custody or at least custody arrangements that involve supervised visits for her mother. I am genuinely fearful about the potential risks to my daughter’s safety if she were to spend unsupervised time with her mother.
While I understand Kentucky operates under a 50/50 custody presumption, I am wondering if a judge will take into account my ex’s history and behavior as a mother when making custody decisions. I want to emphasize that my goal is not to disparage her, but rather to ensure that my daughter’s best interests are prioritized and protected.
Here’s some information about Kentucky custody laws for unmarried parents that might help you navigate this situation:
Default custody: In Kentucky, the biological mother of a child born to unmarried parents is the default legal custodian. However, fathers can establish paternity to gain legal rights to custody and visitation.
Establishing paternity: If you have not already, you should establish paternity. This can be done by signing a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity or through a court order.
Best interests of the child: Kentucky courts make custody decisions based on the “best interests of the child” standard. This means the court will consider various factors, including each parent’s ability to provide a stable and safe environment.
History of abuse and substance abuse: The court will take into account any history of abuse, substance abuse, and other factors that could impact the child’s safety and well-being. Your ex’s history of alcohol abuse, physical abuse, and recent DUI charges will likely be significant factors in the court’s decision.
50/50 custody presumption: While Kentucky does have a presumption of joint custody and equal parenting time, this can be overridden if there is evidence that one parent is unfit or that joint custody is not in the child’s best interests.
Supervised visitation: Given your concerns, you can request that the court order supervised visitation for your ex. This would allow your daughter to have contact with her mother in a controlled and safe environment.
He can’t take the child without the mother’s permission, as he risks losing custody for doing so. He should file for custody and specify his intention to relocate.