Legal custody questions regarding Thanksgiving visit

My children are doing their scheduled visit with their mother for Thanksgiving, and tomorrow they will need to be returned to my mother, who has POA over my children while I’m working out of the country. We have joint physical and legal custody, with me being the primary residence, and that was put into effect while I was gone. Now she is threatening to not return them unless I agree to her terms. Is this going against the court order?

If you’re out of the country, why wouldn’t it be in the children’s best interest to be with their mother instead of their grandmother? You’re playing with fire here. You don’t have ‘right of first refusal’ in your custody? Well, you should. Unless there are serious issues, which it sounds like there aren’t, it would always be in the child’s best interests to be with a willing parent. These kinds of power plays are the things that could make you lose custody.

@Dakota
The mother and I had just gotten out of court due to the children being separated from her by CPS for neglect and child endangerment. My daughters have only been there for a week, and she had them tell me that Mommy never did anything wrong, when it was not in question.

@Rene
Well, obviously that info was missing from your post. Talk to your lawyer.

Why don’t you want your kids spending time with their mother while you’re out of the country? You haven’t told us what the court order says, so we have no idea if she’s going against it or not. Sounds like it might be. What exactly are her demands?

@Keller
Her demands are that I agree to terms I feel are unreasonable, especially given the recent history.

What are her terms? Can you just tell her you’d be happy to discuss changes after the exchange? Sometimes playing the game just a little to deescalate the situation is worth it so it doesn’t become a tug of war over the children that they’re exposed to.

@Micah
That’s a good idea. I’ll consider suggesting that to keep things calm.

Depends on what your order says. Likely, she doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on, but I’d definitely check with your attorney who has read this agreement.

Pax said:
Depends on what your order says. Likely, she doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on, but I’d definitely check with your attorney who has read this agreement.

I will definitely consult with my attorney to clarify the situation before taking any action.