We were married for less than a year and had a baby together. He’s listed as the father on our child’s birth certificate. During our marriage, he got arrested because of something he did to his ex-wife, which I didn’t know about. The court dealt with his case over about four years.
He has two other kids from his previous marriage. He pays child support, but the money comes out of his dad’s bank account. The court said he could only see those kids under supervision, but he never went. He’s never had a job. The court also told him to go to AA and NA because of his past marriage.
After our baby was born, he started acting really strange. Sometimes he wouldn’t come home or answer his phone for days. Once, he even put a gun to his head. The worst was when he wrote a goodbye note, tied a noose around his neck, and went into the attic. The police had to take him to a mental hospital for about a week. While he was there, I decided to divorce him and move out. The divorce was easy because we both agreed. We share custody of our child, but he’s never shown up to pick her up or drop her off. He’s never tried to talk to her or be a dad in any way. Because he doesn’t have a job, I didn’t ask him for child support, and he’s never helped with our child. He doesn’t own anything and lives with his parents, who sometimes kick him out. His parents are old and sick, and I worry about what will happen when they’re gone.
I’m scared that he might try to be a part of our child’s life in the future, but I don’t think it’s safe because of what he’s done and how he’s acted. Can I take him off the birth certificate or stop him from being a parent? I’m worried that if I try to prove he’s abandoned our child, it’ll cause more problems.
Whether you can obtain full custody of your daughter will depend on various factors, including the laws and procedures in your jurisdiction, the specific circumstances of your case, and what is determined to be in the best interests of the child. Here are some steps you can take:
- Understand Custody Laws: Familiarize yourself with the custody laws in your jurisdiction. Laws regarding child custody vary by state or country, so it’s essential to understand the legal standards and requirements for obtaining full custody.
- Document Lack of Involvement: Keep records of any instances where your ex-husband has failed to be involved in your daughter’s life, such as missed visitations, lack of communication, or failure to provide financial support. Documentation can strengthen your case for full custody.
- Consider Mediation: In some cases, mediation can help parents reach an agreement on custody and visitation arrangements outside of court. However, if your ex-husband has shown a pattern of disinterest or neglect, mediation may not be successful.
- File a Custody Petition: If you believe that full custody is in your daughter’s best interests, you may need to file a custody petition with the family court in your jurisdiction. The petition should outline your reasons for seeking full custody and provide evidence to support your case.
- Attend Court Hearings: If your case proceeds to court, be prepared to present evidence and testimony to support your request for full custody. This may include documentation of your daughter’s needs, your ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment, and any concerns about your ex-husband’s involvement.
- Demonstrate Best Interests of the Child: Courts typically prioritize the best interests of the child when making custody decisions. Be prepared to demonstrate why full custody is in your daughter’s best interests, focusing on factors such as her safety, stability, and emotional well-being.
- Consult with an Attorney: Consider consulting with a family law attorney who can provide guidance on your legal options and help you navigate the custody process. An attorney can assess your case, explain your rights, and advocate on your behalf in court.
- Follow Court Orders: If the court grants you full custody, it’s essential to comply with any court orders related to custody and visitation. This may include facilitating visitation with your ex-husband if it is deemed to be in your daughter’s best interests.
Remember that custody decisions are based on what is determined to be in the best interests of the child, and the outcome of your case will depend on the specific circumstances involved. Working with a knowledgeable attorney and acting in your daughter’s best interests can help increase your chances of obtaining full custody.
Hey Barbara, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. My cousin went through something similar with her ex. Given your ex’s history and lack of involvement, you should talk to a family lawyer about getting full custody. They can guide you on possibly removing him from the birth certificate or proving abandonment. It sounds like you have strong reasons for wanting full custody, especially for your child’s safety.