My newborn son was adopted without my knowledge. Will I be able to get him back any time soon? [Utah]

Seeking Legal Advice Forum
1

Hello peeps …

I’m in a really tough spot and could use some advice. My ex and I were together for about two years, and I was with her for the first three months of her pregnancy before we broke up. Things were rocky between us, and she decided to leave the state to finish her pregnancy on her own. I wasn’t okay with that, especially since I wanted to be involved in our baby’s life. After I left, she blocked me on everything.

A few months later, I tried reaching out again, and when I finally spoke to her, she told me, “I want you to think the baby’s not yours.” I was really worried about what she was planning. After no contact for six months, she sent me a photo of the baby while she was in the hospital, saying, “Just so you can’t say I didn’t show you him.” I thought this meant she was going to keep the baby, and I was prepared to fight for custody.

I asked for a paternity test, but she brushed me off, saying I’d have to figure it out myself. Then, out of nowhere, she tells me she adopted him because I took too long to respond to her photo. I was devastated. I never thought she’d go through with an adoption without telling me.

After some digging, I found out she went to Utah to give birth and did an open adoption through Love and Light Adoptions. She never even lived there, and she finalized the adoption before I could file for paternity or get any court documents in place. She won’t give me any info about the adoptive family or my son’s name.

I’ve contacted several law groups and attorneys but haven’t had much luck. I’m worried I’ve lost my son, but I’m determined not to give up. Since he’s only two months old, I feel like I need to act fast. I’m looking for attorneys who can help me with getting a paternity test and eventually full custody through Utah courts.

I know I should’ve done things differently, but I’m past that now. I’m just looking for advice on what steps I can take moving forward.

2

Easy man but if you check out Utah law, it looks like she knew exactly what she was doing by having the baby there.

She sent you a picture, but it took you two weeks to get back to her. Before that, you left her a voicemail six months ago, so you guys weren’t really in touch while she was pregnant. She can tell the courts that approved the adoption that you weren’t interested since you went silent for six months.

Yeah, you can fight the adoption, but it’s going to be expensive, so just be ready for that.

3

There’s a Facebook group called Adoption Facing Realities that’s been super helpful for parents trying to get their kids back. You should definitely join and reach out to the admin!

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4

If it’s an open adoption like you mentioned, you should still be able to meet your kid through the agency. I’m not familiar with Utah law, though; I’m in a different state. My wife and I adopted our son through open adoption, and he’s met his biological dad and grandparents, and they have a great relationship. I can’t say if you can win custody, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship with your child.

5

Wtf, she emailed him a picture and it took him TWO WEEKS to respond? :thinking: That dude doesn’t deserve to have the baby. Two freaking weeks? I would’ve been at the hospital within five hours!!!

6

@AggreyJames It sounds like you should go to court and ask for a paternity test. Just tell them you have reasons to think you might be the father. They have to give you the results, and then you can get your rights sorted out.

I could be wrong since I’m not a lawyer, but it seems like common sense to me.

7

Not in Utah. That place is known for not needing the consent of an unmarried biological dad for an adoption to go through. They only assume paternity if you’re married. Since they weren’t married, OP would’ve had to file for paternity before the adoption to have a shot at stopping it and getting custody.

8

Utah used to have the putative father law, and I’m guessing it still does since that’s where your ex went to have the baby. Basically, if you hook up with someone, you’re supposed to register as a potential father. It’s pretty outdated, but that’s just how it is in Utah.