I’ve been separated from my “husband” for about four years now. Recently, I was able to file for divorce since I moved to a state where it can be started online for a much lower cost. All that’s left is to sign the papers in front of a notary. However, I’m facing a hurdle because he keeps coming up with excuses to avoid meeting and finalizing things. We live two hours apart, and his current excuse is that his job never provides him with a fixed schedule, and taking time off is discouraged and may risk his employment. On top of that, his state ID is expired and needs renewing. This has created a frustrating situation where he can’t get a new ID since he doesn’t have days off when the DMV is open, and he never knows in advance when he’ll have time off work. (I find it hard to believe a car mechanic job would be this inflexible.) I don’t have extra money to spend on court and a lawyer. How can I expedite my divorce? Any advice? Could a lawyer help waive anything? Just to provide context, there are kids involved, and he currently doesn’t support them in any way - not financially, not with calls, not with visits - all by his own choice. I stopped trying to encourage him to talk to the kids months ago. If he wanted to, he would. (I don’t ask him for money for the kids. I’ve told him several times that talking to or visiting the kids is welcome, just to give notice so plans can be made.)
Here are some steps you can consider when getting a divorce:
- Check residency requirements in your state.
- Collaborate with your spouse for an out-of-court agreement.
- File necessary paperwork accurately.
- Attend court if needed.
You are gonna have to explore legal aid services for guidance.
Overall, whatever route you take, make sure your children’s well-being comes first.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. While it’s disheartening, I’d recommend seeking a second opinion from another family lawyer. Legal situations can vary, and another perspective might offer different options or strategies. Additionally, consider reaching out to local support organizations for assistance during this difficult time.
My mom tells a story about a time she was flying and felt extremely worried. She was gripping her seat, staring out the window, and thinking, “I have to watch in case something happens.” Then she realized she had no control over how the pilot was flying, and if something went wrong, there was nothing she could do. She took a few deep breaths and decided to let it go.
I often find that most of my worries are about things I can’t control. It’s important to accept what is out of your control and make plans to work with it. You can’t control every current in the river, but you can learn to navigate it.