Supervised Visitation Monitors: How do you handle redirecting parents during visits?

General Discussions Forum
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I’ve been doing supervised visitation monitoring for four months and struggle with correcting parents without sounding cold or condescending. I saw a documentary where a social worker’s loud, flat tone seemed robotic and uncaring. How can I address inappropriate comments with empathy and understanding while maintaining authority?

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It’s great that you’re reaching out for advice on how to communicate more effectively in your role.

When it comes to addressing inappropriate comments, it’s all about striking the right balance between empathy and authority.

Here are a few tips that might help:

  • Start with “I” statements to express your observations without making the parent feel targeted. For example, you could say, “I noticed the conversation took a turn that might not be the most positive for this setting.”

  • Acknowledge the parent’s feelings to show understanding. You might say, “It’s clear this situation is challenging, and it’s okay to feel upset.

Let’s work together to find a way to express these feelings that’s beneficial for everyone involved.”

  • Offer alternative ways to phrase their thoughts that are more appropriate for the setting.

For instance, “What if we try to reframe our words to focus on the positive aspects?”

  • Keep your tone calm and steady, which can help maintain a sense of authority while also showing that you’re in control and not reacting emotionally.

  • Be clear about the expectations from the start and remind them gently if they stray from these guidelines.

  • Apply the rules consistently to everyone to establish fairness and authority.

  • If you need to address a more serious issue, do so in a private setting to avoid embarrassment and maintain respect.

Remember, your role is vital in fostering a safe and supportive environment. It’s okay to take time to refine your communication style.

Your dedication to improving is already a significant step forward.

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Take this with a grain of salt because I don’t have firsthand experience.

If they are discussing anything that isn’t clearly mentioned as part of the case that they aren’t supposed to discuss, I believe a reminder, such as, “Mom, I need to remind you that talking about KID is not permitted.”

If it’s something unrelated but inappropriate for the child’s age or maturity level, you may be a little more polite, “Mom, I’m wondering if this isn’t really appropriate given Kyle’s age/level of understanding/maturity, etc.”