Update on court for custody of my kids in Clark County, WA

I’ve been fighting for over a year to get custody of my kids, and yesterday was the final day of court.

I filed for emergency custody because my lawyer said it would get me a court date faster, and she was right. When I tried on my own without a lawyer, it took more than a year to get anywhere.

First court date: The dad asked for a reschedule because he didn’t respond or provide any documents.

Second court date: He asked for another reschedule, saying he had a lawyer. When questioned by the judge, he seemed to quickly Google a name. He was told to provide documents and take a 5-panel drug test within 48 hours, then file it with the court and my lawyer.

Third and final court hearing: The dad didn’t show up and hadn’t done the drug test.

My emergency parenting plan was approved! :raised_hands::raised_hands::raised_hands:

Now I want to go for full custody, not temporary. How does that work? Can I do it right after?

The judge was very upset and found it suspicious that the dad attended all court dates except the one where he was supposed to take a drug test and provide proof. Very odd indeed.

The photos here are from my previous posts and experiences with the dad and his mother.

Talk to your attorney. In my situation, the judge was very tough on my ex regarding his abuse, drug use, and alcoholism. She laid out strict requirements for him to regain any unmonitored visits. He decided it was easier to abandon my child. My attorney and the court monitor mentioned this is common; many addicts will resist and then not follow through, so they end up disappearing.

If I were you, I’d file for sole custody now that you have the emergency order in place. He has a lot to overcome to establish custody. Your attorney can guide you through this. The hardest part may already be over for you, so unless he changes his situation and gets help, it should feel much easier from here. Good luck.

I’m not a lawyer, but I have experience with emergency custody orders in TN.

The first hearing is usually called a preliminary hearing. If it was rescheduled multiple times, it sounds like the judge ruled in your favor at that hearing. There should be an adjudication hearing set, where they will look at the allegations from the emergency petition.

Typically, there are steps required by the court for the other parent to regain their custodial rights and parenting time. The “temporary” order usually doesn’t have an expiration date.

Your attorney should have explained the next steps to you. There shouldn’t be a need to file anything separately. In TN, this is often called a Dependent and Neglect case.

You need to document everything that has happened. The grandmother should be kept off your mother’s property so she can’t show up unexpectedly. I would also suggest requesting a restraining order against her due to harassment, including hitting your vehicle and throwing things at you. That should be enough to get a restraining order.

Regardless, your attorney should help you with the next steps. I don’t know if the process is the same in your state, but it’s similar in many places.

What does the plan say about the father?

I would file for full custody. By the time your temporary orders expire, you would have a court date set because the courts are backed up. You can even consult lawyers for free or pay them for an hour to help you file the paperwork correctly.

@Mai
This sounds perfect! Do you know when temporary orders expire? I’m worried he might get a lawyer and fight me for custody if I take too long to file. I want to do it as soon as possible. Right now, at least for the next few months, I’m safe. He has no job, and as of today, he’s losing his house because he’s 40k behind on the mortgage. I know he doesn’t have the money, but I don’t want to give him any chances later. I’m also going to wait at least a month because I’m getting married next week, and I have so much going on.

@Rafe
I would start ASAP! Like file tomorrow or today!

Mai said:
@Rafe
I would start ASAP! Like file tomorrow or today!

I’m super busy this week and next with wedding preparations. I have tons of appointments and running around to finish final details. We’re on a lower budget and have done a lot of DIY projects, so there’s still so much to do. My stress level is through the roof, especially with my son’s birthday on the 7th, just three days before my wedding.

@Rafe
From what you’ve said, don’t file anything. Let your ex file and fight for the kids.

Mai said:
@Rafe
I would start ASAP! Like file tomorrow or today!

No, the temporary orders don’t specify an expiration. When I asked the judge, they said it’s whenever another judge issues a different order.

@Rafe
Then it doesn’t expire. Still, call a lawyer and ask to be sure.

Mai said:
@Rafe
Then it doesn’t expire. Still, call a lawyer and ask to be sure.

I’ll call my lawyer today and ask. I’m just generally worried. The judge stated that he absolutely cannot see the kids until he takes a drug test and the results are reviewed. If he’s clean, he only gets 2-4 hours a weekend. If he isn’t clean, he doesn’t get to see them at all. The judge was very concerned about this and said it borders on CPS intervention if he ever gets them back.

@Mai
How have I never thought of that? :thinking: He absolutely would want to, but I think their dad would never agree. We’ll see. Thank you for your advice and support; I really appreciate it. :heart:

Rafe said:
@Mai
How have I never thought of that? :thinking: He absolutely would want to, but I think their dad would never agree. We’ll see. Thank you for your advice and support; I really appreciate it. :heart:

If he’s begging you to drop the cases against him, don’t put it in writing, but you could call and ask him to agree to sign away his rights, and you would forgive past child support. His agreement makes it easier but isn’t required.

Rafe said:
@Mai
How have I never thought of that? :thinking: He absolutely would want to, but I think their dad would never agree. We’ll see. Thank you for your advice and support; I really appreciate it. :heart:

He doesn’t need to agree. If your state has abandonment laws for children, look that up. Also, when you talk to your lawyer, see if you can file charges for child endangerment for leaving the kids alone or unsafe living conditions. Or if that opportunity has passed already. Anything helps for adoption, and time is on your side, especially if he doesn’t reach out to the kids and stops paying child support.

@Mai
Oh, he’s 11k behind in child support and just got it lowered because he has a lower-paying job. He was supposed to pay the child support by the first of the month and still hasn’t. :woman_facepalming: Got it, I’m going to look into that.

@Rafe
This comment is empty, admin should fix

@Mai
Also, wait for two years or more for no contact and no child support payments.

Mai said:
@Mai
Also, wait for two years or more for no contact and no child support payments.

This depends on the state. In TN, it only takes 4 months for abandonment.

No contact and no support for 4 months means he could pay once every 4 months, and the time would restart. Every state has laws about this, so you just need to check your state’s rules.

@Hart
That’s why I told her to definitely call lawyers and check her state laws. The 2 years I mentioned gave an open timeframe because I know laws vary. I’d rather cap at the maximum time than underestimate and get hopes up.